whats it fucking all about OR stay on the sunny side of life??
Written by laurajanejoywarrior on May 24, 2008 – 6:17 pm -i have no fucking clue–hanging on by a thread here–i am divorced DIVORCED??! fuck?! i am SINGLE because the “D” word is like you have cooties–like deadly toxic and ugly fugly cooties–even among the people you THOUGHT (I thought–has anyone come up with a good word for the “universal you”–since the word “you” is easy …as is all of us humans taking shit personal like the word YOu–(sigh–long defensive thing when writing–my use of YOU offending others–sigh–and me fucking not giving up EVEN WITH ALL I KNOW HAVE LEARNED AND HEALED–not able to figure out how to never care what others think…or take things personal…damn goal…ha ha ha) i am moving next weekend–it is my first move in the 43 years of my life where my brother, my ex or there was one move with a bike team –seriously–i feel excited for AFTER the move–for the NESTING! the SETTLING! the–no yard? (with 2 dogs and 2 cats and after the last 2 yrs on 15 acres and the 9 years before that on my own private tennesse-idaho 120 acres and now to no acres–an allet entrance–and attached–ATTACHED–and 900 sq ft from 3000–Y’ALL I AM IN AFUCKING PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no more doggie door–i have no idea wheteher i have laundry or not–i never supported even one of our pets let alone myself in 20 years–i haven’t rented in 18–i have only lived alone the past 8 months after a 43 year life with others—-i am FREAKING OUT–to say the very least–
and i am fucking LOUD and loving with in with attached walls–and i have barking dogs and fatass 17 pound cats–yes two stinky asses–help–panic–oh god–
and i need some sex–
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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and did i mention that my vibrators batteries are all low and good god how desperate can life feel sometimes–even when I CAN SEE THE RAINBOW ON THE OTHER SIDE!!! 2 weeks after my move i will be dancing and happy in town park ONE BLOCK FROM MY NEW HOUSE–to the “bayou in the butte” and loving on the IGUANAS and MARCIA BALL and damn if i don’t have an awesome nice new townie to ride to the PO to get my mail and MOVING to the ONLY ONLY place that ever felt like home or feels like home–MOVING TO THE FUCKING HAPPY PLACE THAT IS HOME–so i should be banging my “i am so happy lucky lucky lucky laura drum”–no pouting or whining–my life is ABUNDANT!! xoxoxo
Aw hun…I feel for you. I went through the same feelings when I was divorced after 10 yrs and lost my house and had to move into an apt with 4 (yes 4) dogs, none of whom had ever been in an apartment. Once the initial shock is over, things will settle and the fur kids will adjust. It’ll just take some time.
Hang in there hun and try and keep a positive outlook no matter how bleak things may seem. They WILL get better.
Btw…..may I be so bold as to ask where you moved to? It sounds like downtown Denver.
THANKS BELLA!!
i actually have NO RIGHT to whine–i am moving back “home” to crested butte–8888 ft above sea level–one of the most fun special places to live in the whole world! we have celebrations…festivals…walk everywhere…everyone was a furry friend or two–the wildflowers come out the size of softballs and we get to see double rainbows all the time! i woke up today the sun is shining and i am off to sell som rummage in my friends hair salon parking lot here in gunnison–i was VERY BLUE and ALONE feeling last night–woke up excited and ready this morning! one week–i CAN DO THIS!! once i get settled in i know happiness will join me–its jut this week ahead that has me such a wreck-!! wahoo thanks–happy sunday!!