Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

Possibilities for Dreams to Reality

My husband and I have always been together with the belief in polyamory (the belief in many loves). We are not swingers, nor have one of those “open marriages” like people often assume. There are many definitions of polyamory and they very for each person or couple. For us, it is the actual belief of building an extended family of deep friendships and lovers. That all these friends and lovers know of each other and “gel” with one another.

My dream, if it was legal, I would actually wed 2 men and 4 women; well for me that would be heaven! They would marry as many as they loved and we would all live in one big community!! Not to be a cult! We have no religious affiliation and in fact despise organized religion. We just believe in that unconditional love. “There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.” - Jane Austin

That quote is really the appitamy of what we believe. I love love and have so much to give. I have found a man who believes the same and lets me be me. Whether I want some “strange” or I want to love another I have that freedom and so does he. Ahhhh the idea of utopia!!

Since living in New Mexico two and half years we have met many wonderful people that we love deeply. Many platonic and many more in-depth than that. But we include them all in our family status and I truly am blessed. Even so neither of us had met anyone to take the place of a deep love.

Very recently my husband has obtained a new lover, one who is such a wonderful addition to our poly family. I look forward to building a friend ship with this woman and she really has quite a lot to offer to this family. She was/is a hard core swinger and is now being introduced to a new life and way of thinking. I always find it so amazing when we can touch someones life to the point of opening their eyes to another way of life.

I don’t have a problem with swingers they are just VERY different from poly families. Swingers are very much into an anonymous sense of sex. You are lucky if you know names or anything about the people in swinger clubs and situations. We had even been shunned from a swinger group one time we went to a party. Once we mentioned our belief system about caring about the person we fuck no one would even talk to us after that. We now have introduced to another wonderful human being that there is more out there if you want it! Ahhhhh I get all mushy thinking about it.

In addition to my husband new lover I have also met a man. A very wonderful man whom has had a very “vanilla” life. Vanilla meaning for him, has only had monogamous relationships. When telling most men about my beliefs they jump into this creepy kinda conversation of, “so that means I could fuck you and that would be okay?” It can be quite disgusting trying to meet men to bring into a poly family and has always left a sour taste in my mouth. Which is why I usually only dated women, until now.

“Dean”, I actually met in a bar of all places! We talked, flirted and really had a connection from the moment we looked at each other. Normally I do not tell someone I just met my situation but I felt this time was different so I told Dean. (this is also a great test of what type of man I am talking too) His response was not a typical male response. He actually had intelligent questions and responses and genuinely wanted to know more. He asked for my number and we parted ways.

Now he didn’t write down my number so I did not expect an actual phone call so I chalked it up to just a moment  of great conversation and didn’t think of him again. To my surprise, two days later he called. We had more great conversation and he asked if he could take me out that night. I agreed with one condition, that he must meet my family and he agreed. He ended up flaking that night and again I wrote him off. I was thinking okay flaky guy, not really as different as I had hoped.

However Dean surprised me with perseverance with continued calls to apologize and more calls with great conversation and he asked me out again. I gave him a second chance and this past weekend we had a date.

I didn’t have any expectations of this date but when one persists and is willing to meet the family for a first date you must give some respect for that. When he arrived he handled himself very well. Was polite, respectful and all around charming. Ofcourse, just before leaving I ask my family (consiting of husband, girlfriend and cousin) what they thought. As always they said it is really all about how he treats you if he is a good man. (i just love my family!!)

First we went to dinner and the more Dean spoke the more I became open to him. His conversation was very intelligent and he was also very nervous. That to me  is adorable!! A 46 year old roughneck nervous and intimidated because of me?!?! Damn, that’s sexy!!

After dinner we went to a casino while walking to the casino he asked if he could hold my hand. He asked for permission?!?! Oh wow, that’s new to me!! We arrive to the first bar in the casino to have a drink. More intelligent conversation although a bit of him babbling from his nervousness. He then asked permission to kiss me. How do you say no to someone who asks permission??!!

That kiss was the moment we really connected! I hadn’t had such an amazing kiss since I met my husband. Kissing, it really is so important to me! We continued to another bar, talked, kissed and then went to play some black jack. By this point it was like I just couldn’t get close enough to this man. I could not keep my hands off of him!! This never happens to me, I am usually very reserved and controlled on a first date!!

We returned to one of the bars, kissed, hugged, held hands with more great conversation then danced! A man who likes to dance!!?? I’m toast!! LOL I really wanted to spend time alone in a quite place with him but didn’t want to say anything. He asked what I wanted to do and I wanted to leave the casino. He asked if I wanted to go to his house and couldn’t believe that yes came out of my mouth!!

To be continued……..