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Just Want To Put Something Out Into the Universe

Written by lacivia on May 29, 2008 – 5:10 pm -

When growing up my childhood, to say the least was non-existent. I suffered much sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect. A lot had to do with the lack of parenting skills by my mother. Mind you I am not one of those people who blame her. I wouldn’t trade my hardships for the world. I have gained a lot of knowledge and helped others with it. I work really hard to heal though wounds almost daily. But something happened last night that made so much of it all just disappear…..

My mother called last night. We started the conversation with the normal miss you’s and I love you’s.

Then she said, “I wish I could go back in time to like when you were ten.”

I responded, “I wouldn’t want that, I put you through so much and went through so much”

“I just wish I would have been a better mother to you” (mom)

“You have been a wonderful mother in so many ways.” (me)

“No, I wasn’t and I just want you to know that if I could go back in time, I would give you the world. You deserve it.” (mom)

Needless to say hearing it, and typing it now brings me to such a joyful, healing, beautiful, crying place. I’ve never felt more proud or more love for my mother!

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Posted in FAMILY |


6 Responses to “Just Want To Put Something Out Into the Universe”

  1. By Bella Morte on May 29, 2008 | Reply

    It’s great that you and your Mom can talk openly and freely about what happened and that forgivness is so forthcoming from both sides. My Mom and I had a similar conversation a few years back after my car accident when I was recovering at home. Just goes to show the incredible capacity that the human heart has for forgiveness.

  2. By Lacivia on May 29, 2008 | Reply

    And it’s never too late for it either, huh? xoxo Bella

  3. By Sybaritic on May 30, 2008 | Reply

    Lacivia, love! I am SO happy for you! How wonderful that you and your mother were able to mend some bridges…my mom and I haven’t spoken in months, and it was on rough ground. Your blog made me want to pick up the phone and just let her know I love her… Thank you!

    XOXO

  4. By Lacivia on May 30, 2008 | Reply

    Oh wow! I am so glad I touched you that way! NO better time than now to mend those bridges. Thank you

  5. By dirtygurrrl on May 31, 2008 | Reply

    OH, honey! I’m so glad for you! Sending all my love your way. And I’ll motorboat you when I get home, just to celebrate!

  6. By Lacivia on Jun 6, 2008 | Reply

    MOTORBOAT!!!!! Whoooo hooo!!! muah!

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