The Reminder: Fabulous Female Fertility
Written by gryphon on May 20, 2008 – 11:39 am -I hesitate to post this as my “initial” blog at Hotel Bliss…. it’s not a fancy, “sexy” post. In fact, it might be a huge turn off for some of you. Sorry ’bout that.
But I’ve been learning more about this topic recently and would genuinely like to hear from other women about their beliefs, practices, and experiences/stories in this area. Perhaps even get some dialogue going… I look forward to your responses, kind readers.
We live in a time when numerous options are available to women that give us some control of not only our fertility but also the monthly reminder of our fertility.
Yes, the majority of us fabulous females menstruate on a semi-regular basis between menarche and menopause. Some don’t like to think about this fact. Some of us may consider it every now and then (ever wondered how many women with you on the subway, at work or at the club/concert/beach are on their period, too…?). There are also some women liberated and bold enough to celebrate menstruation; the cynic in me strongly suspects that these women aren’t writhing in discomfort and nausea for several days of the month… but, hey, power to these feisty godesses nonetheless.
Although I’m not at the point of being able to celebrate menstruation, I tolerate it because it alludes to the procreative potential within me (woot!!). Other things that make it more bearable are modern medicine (Oh how I adore you, my darling, darling Anaprox), the Kundalini Vinyasa Yoga Sun Salutation and my trusty heating pad. But I digress… 
Mainstream media would have us believe that disposable pads and tampons are virtually our only options. But I am learning that this is not the whole story! So, what other options exist? What are women actually using? Why don’t we hear about these alternative options???
I have come up with a few considerations that may be important when choosing how to deal with/manage menstruation:
- Cost (both environmental and economic)
- Convenience (am I going to be able to use this in public restrooms? will I have to get my hands dirty or spend time washing/disinfecting it?)
- Comfort (does it feel like a bulky diaper? will it leak? )
- Concerns for health (does it involve chemicals or hormones?)
Do you have others that you would add to the list?
I am posting here at Hotel Bliss because I have come across intelligent, open-minded, well-read women… whom I suspect may be willing to share their advice/opinions about various “tools of the trade” such as:
- pads/pantyliners (regular type? organic? reusable?),
- tampons (plastic vs cardboard applicators… or applicator-free? Bleached vs natural?),
- keepers/cups, (brands? where to buy them/sources?)
- hormonal options to lessen/stop menstrual flow (ie depo-provera, etc),
- pain management (ie medication, heating pads, food, herbs, or physical activity)?
- others???
Lovely ladies, do you have anything to recommend trying or avoiding? Do you have tips or experiences re: non-mainstream options?
I want to hear from you and I hope we can all learn from each other!
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- Jun 12, 2008: Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » THE BEST OF THE HOTEL BLISS GUEST BLOG 2 - READ WHAT BI-GIRLS ARE WRITING!
I know I was always one of those girls who read fantasy novels and historical fiction and wondered what they did about menstruation!
Lo and behold, the Museum of Menstruation. It’s closed now, though.
I personally have been happiest since I got off the pill and returned to my normal, natural cycle. I always use organic tampons because I do not enjoy the odor of menstruation that can sometimes be powerful and very noticeable with pads! I no longer use painkillers and try to exercise or do yoga close to my cycle which usually prevents cramps from occurring. If I get them a hot water bottle resting on my abdomen usually lessens any pain.
A friend taught me that a sign of fertility and health is half-way through your cycle to see a “egg whites” - like discharge. This means you are ovulating and healthy. Every time it comes now it makes me smile and know that everything is working correctly.
Enjoyed your post so much, doll! And nice pictures, too.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
I always wondered the same thing! There is some mention of some fairly strict sanitary practices in the Old Testament… but other than that, the history books are so quiet on the topic!
PS Great website; had some fun looking at the (scary) old ads and pictures on there!!
To Bliss,
Thanks for your post!!
Ah yes the “egg white”, I remember learning about that at a sexuality conference seminar about the Fertility Awareness Method (not to be confused with the Rhythm Method).
Where do you find organic tampons? Are they quite a bit more expensive than the mainstream ones?
As a young woman who is on the seemingly never ending quest to finally have a baby. I deal with my monthly visit with more then a normal hatred for that red spot on my underwear in the morning.
However with the sperm donor gone Aka my loving husband.
I have begun to see that having a normal period, one that i haven’t had for over 4 years due to depo provera, and PCOS I have come to understand that my period is not really something to hate anymore, it is something to embrace because it means I am on my way to being healthy again.
I was normal until I went on Depo, and that is what screwed me up to the problems I have today, with trying to loose the weight that I gained while on it, to the diagnosis of Polycysytic Ovarian Syndrome. Which is what is making it so hard to get pregnant and keep the baby.
I have decided that I will never go back on birth control even after we are done having kids. Its much easier to chart my cycle then deal with the ups and downs of BC. Besides charting is a great way to become more in tune with your own body.
Sorry for the long reply, but hey posts some more on it. I enjoy the topic.
Danika
oh and i forgot to mention the website that i use to chart.
its called mymonthlycycles.com and it actually gives a lot of different sources for alternative tampons etc instead of disposable.
Danika
Danika, thank you so much for your amazing comments. What a roller-coaster experience you have had not only with D.P but also with PCOS; I hope that you’ll continue on the road to restored health!
Originally, I had written a little blurb for those ladies among us who, for various reasons, do not menstruate regularly or at all. I wanted to be sensitive to that portion of readers too… but then I worried that it might be tangential. Also, it’s a very delicate subject, isn’t? As Danika has pointed out, depending on where we are at in our lives and with our health, it’s amazing how varied one’s visceral/emotional response can be to seeing “that red spot”.
For instance, my friends have been trying for awhile to conceive… so they heave very sad, heavy sighs with each subsequent period.
On the other hand, several years ago, my boyfriend revealed that the condom broke. I breathed an enormous sigh of relief when my period started a couple of weeks later.
Beyond the tangible annoyance of one’s period, there is such an hugely intangible emotional realm that our “Reminder” taps into. Thank you, Danika for sharing your thoughts/experiences.
xo Gryphon
Ok. Let me get nitty-gritty. I can’t use tampons. For some reason everything just leaks around them. So I have to wear a pad as well and that just defeats the purpose and creates more trash. I tried Glad Rags. Gotta say I hate washing those things out. And it has a definite diaper feel to it. I even tried Instead. Yeah, I must just be built strange, cause that won’t work either. If anyone has an option other than pads, I’d love to hear it cause I’m about out of options here.
I have a pretty strange menstrual history. And I’ve taken just about every form of birth control out there. Rather than bore you, let’s just say that almost all of them had side-effects that ranged from merely unfortunate to really awful. Right now I’m on the pill they give women in Europe that is purely progesterone. So far it doesn’t have the same side-effects as the standard progesterone methods (ie weight gain and moodiness) and has reduced my menstrual days to about 5 days every 3 months. Which is nothing but good in my world.
As for pain management, my heating pad is my best friend. And when they are bad, a good orgasm helps loosen my pelvis up and make it less painful. The worst of my cramps come right before I start bleeding, so I generally get a nice man to pound me REALLY HARD and that generally provides the relief I’m seeking.
Ok, so that may have been too much info. . .hehehe. Sorry.
without birth control, I am actually on a 40 day cycle. When I was younger and first started having sex, this used to cause a lot of anxiety. imagine your period always coming a week and a half later than everyone says it should.
SO on this subject,I cant use tampons anymore,they make me sick,so sick I sleep all day,moaning in pain if I have one in. So I use Always thin maxi,they absorb,cant feel the blood,and I use extra Body spray,my fav is Vanilla Raspberry Simply Basic,from Walmart.
Im able to work not like before when I couldnt even get out of bed,and I never have PMS.Never know when I start,except my gf starts 2 days before me,we’ve become rhythmic with each other!!
As for fertility,I still am trying to figure out how to get her pregnant!! The parts just arent there!!Although Id love for her to have my baby. Im half jokin and serious,too!!
Good post,I like the open topics!!!
Fucking fantastic topic for this Hotel. Thank you Gryphon for starting the dialogue. I’m in the middle of deciding what birth control to use and the entire subject angers me. I do not like the idea of hormones. I want to know where DIRTY GURRRL gets her European birth control. I’m on the verge of either going w/ the nuva ring at 45$ a pop or the free pills. Angers me. Why the hell they haven’t perfected the reverse vasectomy is beyond me. Actually its not beyond me. I get it. Anger. I love my cycle and I don’t wanna meddle.
On the subject of pads/ tampons….
I use Nature’s something… I’ll have to look at the label later. But, they’re the no applicator kind. gross huh? Well, I got used to it when i had a gf that used them and I needed a few. I realized that
a. no smelly trash leftovers
b. environmentally safe
c. safe for my body ie no bleach
d. no smelly trash leftovers
e. not a big deal to put in. just rinse ur finger.
f. smaller and feels better.
More info to come ladies!
Love the talk!
cheers!
Jungle Jane
I agree with everyone else - good topic! LOVE the picture of the tampon dog!!
As for me, I’m in the “not really having a period” category, so I can’t comment on the best alternatives anymore. (Though when I did have my periods, they were usually on the light side and tampons worked just peachy.) These days I spot a day or two every couple months, but that’s all.
That is because three years ago I had an IUD (intrauterine device) put in. Best decision I ever made - but I know it wouldn’t be for every woman. I had been on the pill for almost ten years prior due to dealing with my endometriosis. Regular periods from the pill was the best way the doctors knew of dealing with it, so that’s what I did. But after 10 years I just felt like my body had had enough foreign hormones. So, I looked into alternative birth controls, eating habits, exercise etc. to control the endo pains.
Scared my endo would cripple me if I went cold turkey, I opted for the IUD that has hormones. While I didn’t entirely complete my goal, the IUD has less hormone than pills, and the hormone is centralized to your uterus - not having to be ingested then go through your whole system. When my 5 years are up, I’m considering going to the IUD with no hormones. Now that I feel I’ve gotten the endo under control with more natural methods, it may just work.
Best perk though, only has to be changed every 5 years!
Again, great way to open some interesting discussion!
I get the progesterone pill at Planned Parenthood for $27 a month. They are continuous dosage with no placebo pills. The only drawback I’ve found is that you have to take them at as close to exactly the same time every day as possible. One hour’s difference means you could be fertile for 2 days afterward. They are called Nora BE.
I’ve tried the Nuva ring. Loved it! Until I’d been on it for 6 months and then had an abnormal pap. It caused lesions on my cervix. Which in turn caused a cancer scare and colposcopy. That might not have happened if I’d taken it out during sex (you don’t have to, but you can).
And just a little aside to make you all laugh. After the birth of my first baby, I decided to use a diaphragm for my birthcontrol. If you’ve never used one, you have to coat the rim in spermicide before you insert the diaphragm. So, I put on the spermkiller, squeezed the diaphragm down to the right shape for insertion, and it shot out of my hands. Those little bastards are springy. Did you know spermicide will keep a diaphragm stuck to the cieling for hours? Trust me! We laughed so hard I almost peed the bed.
Wonderful topic to bring up!!
Personally I had to stop birth control. The cost, mood swings and pain it brought just isn’t worth it to me. Currently use condoms with my husband and pull out too. Past 3 years and doing well.
However I am currently trying to research something called the Title 10 Funding here in NM. It seems you can get funded for Tubal Ligations at Planned Parenthood. But I have yet to actually find out how.
I have seen one alternative that doesn’t look very comfortable for menstruation it is called the Diva cup. I don’t know much about it but it is something to look into.
Its been very hard trying to deal with getting pregnant. It has been so frustraiting. I had been taking metformin (a diabetic drug that in women with PCOS promotes ovulation) for 6 months when I finally got pregnant in Dec. 07. I miscarried at 9 weeks. Its been hard because it was something that we have been working towards for almost three years. The upside is that, even though I miscarried, the hard part is over. We know I can get pregnant, whereas before we could only assume that I could.
I caution any women that is looking to take the depo provera shot as birth control.Or any kind of BC that stops your period all together. Despite what these dr.s are saying, you DO need to have a period every month. Even if its a light one. Or at least every other month. Its not healthy for your body to be in that constant state of limbo when you are young. I was on Depo for three years, and my dr.s all told me I would be fine, well if you call having cysts on your ovaries fine, and having difficulty conceiving, then I’m doing dandy.
Can you tell I’m a little bitter? :p
Danika
So many awesome comments and thoughts from everyone on this topic!
I am still curious to find out about the experiences other women have had with the diva cup or keeper… I feel like they would be more environmentally friendly and easy on the cheque book but I wonder how effective they are and how annoying they are to use in public, at work, while swimming, etc…
@ Dirtygurl - wish that sex had the same effect on me for cramps, etc. Having an orgasm within a couple days of the start of my period makes everything so much worse for me. Can you imagine? No nookie to bring up my mood
PS Loved the diaphragm story!!! hahahah
@ Jungle Jane - I use applicator-free tampons, too and have no issues with them except that on the light days I don’t like using tampons…
@ Brianne- Thx for sharing about your experience with the IUS/IUD. Is that Mirena? I’ve wondered about getting one to augment our non-hormonal contraceptive… aka condom. I’m paranoid about pregnancy right now but breast cancer runs in our family like a wooden leg so I wasn’t excited about the prospect of the other forms of hormonal birth control that had estrogen.
A PIECE OF TRIVIA: Did you know that in most places in the US and Canada (etc), the waste management system is NOT equipped to deal with tampons themselves? (NOT discussing the applicator here) This means that if you flush tampons, apparently you’re creating a nightmare for the folks down at the sewage/waste management plant. Awesome (sarc).
Hi everyone, two months ago I started using a Mooncup and I have to say it is brilliant. It’s a learning curve, no doubt about it, but I was sick of paying for expensive tampons and I worried about where they all actually ended up??!! (yuck). You have to be comfortable with your own body and not grossed at the sight of blood. But it’s a lot easier to cope with using a Mooncup than in a disgusting soggy used tampon, lol!
Don’t know how much detail you all actually want so I’ll be quiet now!
Thanks for sharing your experience with the Mooncup, Bella!
It’s one of the options that has me quite intrigued because it creates much less waste and so forth… but I’m still hesitant because I worry about leaks, discomfort and how to deal with it when in public restrooms. Any further thoughts on it?
I’ve been using the Diva Cup for over a year now, maybe two (I can’t remember), and can’t imagine using anything else. My mum’s been using it too, though she’s had a bit more of a hard time with it. I’d always used pads before, as tampons were very uncomfortable and leaky for me. But pads are kind of gross and smelly and icky, and I’d dread each period.
Not so anymore! The Diva Cup has a bit of a trick to it, but once it’s in comfortably, I can totally forget I’m even having my period. There’s no smell, it’s safe, and it makes the whole experience so much easier to deal with. It’s very worth looking it up, especially if you want something friendly for the environment. Like I said, I can’t imagine using anything else!
As for dealing with cramps, I don’t like to use painkillers if I can help it. I’ve found a good spinal twist position can help, also swimming in cold water (though I’ve been assured by all my woman friends that I’m unique and insane because of this), and most of all, there’s a pressure-point on the middle of the side of your butt that’s just for women’s cramps. Try it: press around there with your thumb; if the spot kind of aches when you push, you’ve found it. Put as much pressure as feels okay, the more the better, and after a minute it’ll feel like your belly has melted away…wonderful!
Oh, also, for the public restroom issue: the Diva Cup doesn’t need to be changed very often, especially when it’s not a ‘heavy’ day. It’s recommended two or three times a day, but I only do it once (during my shower), and it’s been totally fine. I sanitize it in boiling water before each period, too, and wash with soup and water when I change it. In the instructions with the Cup, it says something about how to do it in restrooms (and it seemed really easy), but I forget what it was because I never had too.