Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

The Impossible Crush

(I posted some of this as a bulletin but I’ve modified it and am posting it here because I think it’s more appropriately posted as a blog…)

Most of us have been there before: The Impossible Crush. 

I define this as having an intense desire for somebody that we simply cannot be with.  For whatever reason (and the reasons vary tremendously!) you know that anything more than friendship with her (or him) will never be.  The feelings that come along with the crush are thrilling and terrifying… and unbearably frustrating at times, too:

Your heart pounds hard and fast when you think of her/him or see her/him.

You feel tongue-tied when you’re with her/him (even though you are oh-so-clever and smooth in the imaginary encounter you have with your crush).

You generally have a one-track mind focused on anything about the object of your crush… you become distracted by thoughts of our crush at the most inconvenient times (Nothing like being unable to take your mind or eyes off of her/his sexy tanned, toned arms or gorgeous eyes or smile during a meeting/conversation that you should really be paying more attention to.  “I’m sorry, I missed what you just said there. I was too busy fantasizing/daydreaming/checking out your…”).

Perhaps your stomach even does flip-flops when you are around her/him.  Whenever this happens, I am reminded of the fact that some of the ancients did not consider the Heart to be the vessel of one’s emotions:  In fact, Hebrew literature uses imagery of the guts or bowels as the seat of our emotions.  When negative (or very powerfully positive!!) emotions bring you butterflies in your stomach, you begin to appreciate the apparent wisdom of our ancestors…

Now, some of us have been lucky enough to have a friend or two to confide in about the crush.  Others of us have had (at least at some points) to keep tight-lipped. Once again, just as the reasons why one cannot pursue or be with one’s crush vary tremendously, so do the reasons why one might not be able to confide in anyone about the crush.  The one reason that comes to mind most quickly is that if the crush is another female then one must have bi-friendly friends that they are comfortable talking to about such matters.  Another reason is that perhaps the crush object is a colleague or supervisor- and it’s just too risky to mention the crush to anyone in case word leaks out about it and puts your career in jeopardy.  Or perhaps we stay tight-lipped because we know that nothing will ever come of the Impossible Crush, so we don’t want to bother dragging anyone else into our frustrated little mindspace.

What is it about your crush that drives you so wild?  How does she/he make you feel about yourself?  How have you dealt with your Impossible Crushes?  Who have you confided in? 

What has helped get you past the heart-pounding, stomach-flipping stage to a point where you can just release the crush/desire and surrender to enjoying whatever presence they have in your life “as is”, not as you might otherwise want?  Have you ever actually pursued an Impossible Crush - if so, how did that turn out?

The Reminder: Fabulous Female Fertility

I hesitate to post this as my “initial” blog at Hotel Bliss…. it’s not a fancy, “sexy” post. In fact, it might be a huge turn off for some of you. Sorry ’bout that.
But I’ve been learning more about this topic recently and would genuinely like to hear from other women about their beliefs, practices, and experiences/stories in this area. Perhaps even get some dialogue going… I look forward to your responses, kind readers.

We live in a time when numerous options are available to women that give us some control of not only our fertility but also the monthly reminder of our fertility.

Yes, the majority of us fabulous females menstruate on a semi-regular basis between menarche and menopause. Some don’t like to think about this fact. Some of us may consider it every now and then (ever wondered how many women with you on the subway, at work or at the club/concert/beach are on their period, too…?). There are also some women liberated and bold enough to celebrate menstruation; the cynic in me strongly suspects that these women aren’t writhing in discomfort and nausea for several days of the month… but, hey, power to these feisty godesses nonetheless.

Although I’m not at the point of being able to celebrate menstruation, I tolerate it because it alludes to the procreative potential within me (woot!!). Other things that make it more bearable are modern medicine (Oh how I adore you, my darling, darling Anaprox), the Kundalini Vinyasa Yoga Sun Salutation and my trusty heating pad. But I digress…

Mainstream media would have us believe that disposable pads and tampons are virtually our only options. But I am learning that this is not the whole story! So, what other options exist? What are women actually using? Why don’t we hear about these alternative options???

I have come up with a few considerations that may be important when choosing how to deal with/manage menstruation:
- Cost (both environmental and economic)
- Convenience (am I going to be able to use this in public restrooms? will I have to get my hands dirty or spend time washing/disinfecting it?)
- Comfort (does it feel like a bulky diaper? will it leak? )
- Concerns for health (does it involve chemicals or hormones?)

Do you have others that you would add to the list?

I am posting here at Hotel Bliss because I have come across intelligent, open-minded, well-read women… whom I suspect may be willing to share their advice/opinions about various “tools of the trade” such as:
- pads/pantyliners (regular type? organic? reusable?),
- tampons (plastic vs cardboard applicators… or applicator-free? Bleached vs natural?),
- keepers/cups, (brands? where to buy them/sources?)
- hormonal options to lessen/stop menstrual flow (ie depo-provera, etc),
- pain management (ie medication, heating pads, food, herbs, or physical activity)?
- others???

Lovely ladies, do you have anything to recommend trying or avoiding? Do you have tips or experiences re: non-mainstream options?
I want to hear from you and I hope we can all learn from each other!