Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

Natural Beauty: The first installment - Guaranteed to be the funnest!

Well, my first natural beauty suggestion isn’t necessarily about beauty. At least, not on the outside. But since I discovered this little trick awhile back, I’ve been dying to tell people about it. Some of you may already know the benefits, but everyone else, get ready for a treat!

What’s got me all excited? Well it’s the beauty of coconut oil. But not just for its uses on the skin and hair (though there will definitely be more posts about that in the future). It’s about what a fantastic natural lube it makes!

I was surfing the net one day, looking for information to back up my belief that coconut oil is one of the healthier oils you can use for cooking, when I came across a blog talking about using it as a lube. I hadn’t really thought about that one, but the idea intrigued me, so I started doing some research. I’ve been looking to replace as many of my personal products as I can with natural alternatives, and you can’t get more natural than that!

After lots of reading, I decided to give it a shot. One night I blindfolded my man, smoothed some on my hands and started ‘working him’. He instantly knew it wasn’t our normal water based lube, and he definitely liked the difference. After playing with him for awhile I went up to kiss him. He was pleasantly surprised! (Well, he was already happy by that point!) We both love coconut, so the taste was an added bonus. After that first time, we haven’t gone back to our regular lube. The coconut oil is just too much fun!

If you’d like to give it a try, here are some pros and cons to consider:

Pros

1. It smells tastes like coconut! That is if you buy the right kind. You’ll want to buy a quality coconut oil. A good coconut oil will smell like fresh coconut. Avoid any that is RBD (refined, bleached, deodorized). Look for coconut oil that is extra virgin. Organic is best. This also applies to using coconut oil cosmetically – but that will be in another blog.
   
2. 100% edible. This makes it really fun to work with. I’ve found that the edible, store bought lubes taste weird, and I just never really trusted putting that stuff in my mouth. Also, if you are of the variety that is hindered by the smell or taste of oral, this can be of a real benefit for you!
3. Moisturizing. My man tends to be frisky in the morning. The problem is I tend get dry over night, both my mouth and my intimate parts. Using lube was our best option, but as I said, we don’t care for edibles, so it limited our options. That’s not a problem any more. And if I’m using my mouth my lips get super soft!
4. Good for him and her. My man and I have both used it on the other, and oh my we both love it so! We’re also very excited to someday use it on someone else *blush*

Cons

1. It tastes and smells like coconut oil. If you don’t like coconuts, well then this won’t be for you. Although you could try the RBD kind. The bleaching and processing takes the taste and odor out of the oil, but it also makes it less natural. I have not tried this kind (the smell and taste are the best part for us), but have read of others using it and enjoying it. I wouldn’t recommend it for cosmetic use, and definitely not for cooking. The more it’s processed, the less healthy it becomes.
2. Not for use with latex condoms. Oils are bad with latex. It is however completely safe with polyurethane condoms. I know that Trojan and Durex both make poly condoms.
3. Some clean up required. Me and my man use it liberally, so a shower is usually necessary afterward. This isn’t the stuff you would want to use during a quickie before you need to be somewhere.
4. It is an oil. I know that some women are wary of oil based lubricants. They say that oils leave a coating on the vaginal wall that is difficult to get rid of thus increasing the chance of bacteria and other infections. At the end of the day, you should make the choice best for you. We have been using coconut oil everywhere, and I mean everywhere, and haven’t had any issues yet. If you are worried, you can still use it safely for external fun. Great for massages!

Working with coconut oil

Coconut oil is solid until around 76 degrees. If your house is cooler than that, you’ll notice it has more the consistency of butter. It melts quickly when rubbed in your hands, so you could scoop some and start an intimate massage on the body part of your choosing. We put some in squeeze bottle and if it’s become too solid, we pop it in the microwave for a few seconds. (Don’t get it too hot! Ouch!)

As I said before, it can get messy (but fun messy!). Being an oil, it has the chance to leave oil stains on sheets and bedding. As of yet, we haven’t noticed any, but if you’re worried about that, perhaps put down a blanket that you don’t care about.

Where to find coconut oil

I’m a frequent shopper at the natural food store down the street from me, and they usually have no less than four brands of good quality coconut oil. I haven’t really looked in a regular grocery store, but if you find any, as I said before, make sure it’s extra virgin and (if possible) organic.

That’s it for my first installment. I hope you enjoy this one as much as we do (and we really, really do). Please share any thoughts or stories if you’ve already tried it!

Natural Beauty

Looks like the blog is working swimmingly. (Thank you Christian and Bliss!)

Enough lovely ladies said they would be interested in hearing about some of my natural beauty alternatives that I’m going to give it a go! Before my first post, though, I’d just like to put some things out there.

First of all, I am by know means an expert. While I’ve spent a lot of time researching and trying many of the things I’ll discuss, a lot of it is a topic of debate even among the scientists. I do promise to offer as much knowledge as I can on each topic, but please do continue to research further.

Second, I completely welcome thoughts, insights, suggestions, alternatives, even downright disagreements are okay in my book. If you’ve got something to offer, please share! I just ask that everyone be respectful (but from what I’ve read from beauties here so far, I don’t think that will be an issue).

Finally, everyone is different. What may work wonders for me, may not work for you. Even worse, you may react adversely, even if the products are natural. (For example I learned the hardway that burdock root makes me immensely itchy!). So, always proceed with caution. Do test spots if applicable. And of course, if you have a known allergy to any of the ingredients, don’t use it. (But if you do, let me know and I can possibly offer alternatives).

Okay ladies! I’ll work at getting the first post up in the next day or two. I’m very excited to share what I’ve learned and open up some discussion!

Lover and Beloved

Hello everyone, sorry for the long silence. I have been incredibly busy. <3 Evokateur

Lover and Beloved 

Do movies inform our opinions on how life should be, or do they reflect what we think life should be like? Maybe it’s both.

I ask, because I have been thinking about romantic movies lately. Can you remember the last one you saw? Boy wants girl, boy chases girl, boy messes up but eventually repairs things. Boy chases girl. And for many women, this is how it should be. This reflects how we are raised and what we expect out of romance. A man is supposed to ask a woman out.

Now think about the last movie you saw where a woman has an obvious interest in a man. She will do one of three things. The more common one is that she is a part of the movie from the previous paragraph and will blush and stammer demurely and wait for her Prince Charming to make a move. Then there’s the smoldering temptress who is almost alarmingly forthright and is trying to take the guy’s pants off as soon as look at him. But face it, how many women are actually like that and not the byproduct of fantasy?

Then the most insulting option of all, the girl who tries too hard. She’s the girl who offers to help him whenever he needs it and throws herself out there to show him she’s into him. This is almost always portrayed as negative, clingy, needy, and desperate. This just reinforces the idea that the girl who gets the guy is the one who sits around and waits for him.

Now, as a bi-girl I want you to think about the implications of this for your love life with other women. You are both raised with the expectation that you will be pursued.

This brings me to the important, rather poetic duality of relationships: the lover and the beloved.

Usually women expect to be the beloved. The beloved is the object of adoration, the person being chased, the subject of poetry and love letters. Some of the most beautiful art has been created for and about the beloved. The lover is the troubadour, the seeker of love, the creator of beautiful things, admirer of the beloved. They are the one that chase. I doubt you could be a poet without having some of the lover in you. As an aside, my sociology of love professor mentioned that loving someone was far more important an experience than being loved.

Now, while you can be both lover and beloved in one relationship, it is rather unlikely for two people expecting to be the beloved to start a relationship. You both are expecting the other to make the first move. The lovely woman you’re admiring from afar may be doing the same thing to you, waiting for you while you’re waiting for her.

Don’t you hate feeling so passive? In the past, I have felt almost like men are cheated because the female body has so many wonderful things to adore about it. Most men will not let you explore and enjoy the majority of their body. So, women become the receivers, the beloved, in sex as well as in relationships in general. When two women get together they have to overcome this expectation and routine that their partner will do most of the work.

And yet I say a resounding no to this vision of the way it is supposed to be. I am not just going to sit there and wait. There is nothing wrong with being pursued and being loved. But loving and pursuing the object of your desire in an active, not passive, way… It has its place and its moments in your life.

Wanting and pursuing someone does not make you desperate. It does not make you sad. You are richly sensual with powerful desires. You are an Amazon, hunting out your quarry. You are a troubadour, for some of the troubadours were women disguised as men, searching always for your lady love.

Sometimes it’s not enough to be beautiful and be loved; sometimes you have to worship the beauty in others.

So… go be a tiger and chase down that lovely deer.