Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

Living with a closed head injury.

At the prompting of the lovely Jungle Jane and Shocka as well as to help exercise my brain I decided to put this down. It will also help explain some of my idiosyncrasies, like why I’m slow to reply in chat.On September 19, 2003 I got up as usual and got ready to go to work. Told the husband to sleep well (he was working nights at this time) gave my four kids their pats and an admonishment to be good for “Daddy” and let him sleep and made my way to the bus stop. I worked downtown at the time and usually went in early to be at work by 6:30am to get a head start on my day. I remember getting to the intersection across from my bus stop then…nothing. The next thing I knew I was seeing what I thought was sunshine through my closed eyelids and thinking “Hell, I gotta get up! I’m gonna be late!” But I was so tired and my limbs felt so heavy it was just easier to drift off to sleep again. The next time I felt that actually waking up was an option, I opened my eyes to find myself in a sterile hospital room with bright lights and my parents were there. I remember my Mom saying, “Quick, Tom get Don! She’s awake!” Then my husband comes into my field of view with a look of anger and concern on his face that truly frightened me. I asked what the hell was going on in a voice I hardly recognized as my own it was so hoarse and raspy.

Turns out as I went to cross that final intersection before my bus stop (with the light in my favor, I might add) I was hit from behind on my left side by a turning car that I never even saw much less heard coming. I was tossed completely across the intersection to lay in oncoming traffic and was almost hit again by another car who fortunately stopped to see what was wrong. How long I laid there before the second car came I have no idea. This unknown good Samaritan called the paramedics and left after they arrived. I wish I had been able to find out who this was so I could thank him/her.

When the paramedics arrived they automatically assumed that since it was so early (5:30am) that I must be drunk or on dugs to be out so early. This despite the fact that I had my state issued work id on a lanyard around my neck. So they decided to strap me to the gurney with the heavy duty restraining belts used for violent patients and took me to the hospital where normally they took those who are incapcitated from drink or drugs or were indigent patients. Once at the hospital still working under the assumption that I was on a controlled substance they did an unauthorized spinal tap to run tests for these substances that I was supposedly on. They also put me on very heavy doses of sedatives due to the fact that I was being violent. Which I wasn’t….I was seeing the hospital lights and mistaking them for sunshine and was trying to get up to go to work. Hence my “violent” thrashings. Once all their “necessary” tests were done some bright person finally decided to check my cell for contact info and finally got a hold of my parents who rushed to the hospital after dispatching a friend to bang on our apartment door and wake my husband up.

Once my family arrived and set the doctors straight that I was not a substance abuser they finally allowed me to fully wake up. There was so much concern over my being on “drugs” that no x-rays, MRIs or anything were done. It took my family going off on the nurses to get them to do an x-ray on my left leg when I complained of it hurting. Nothing was done to see what type of head injuries I may have had. I was outfitted with a leg brace and crutches and sent on my merry way with little to no after care instructions or doctor recommendations for aftercare and or physical therapy. This despite having a concussion, contusions, scrapes, scratches, torn ligaments in my left leg, severe back pain not too mention no clothes due to them being cut off by the paramedics. I left wearing a hospital gown and nothing else.

Once I got back home, my parents and husband told me that when they arrived at the hospital they had to fight to get the restraining belts taken off ( I still have scars today from those) and be taken off all the sedatives they had me on. I still felt terrible both from the original trauma and the drugs the hospital had put me on. It was decided that the next day I would go see my regular doctor and get rechecked and make arrangements for any necessary physical therapy and after care.

The next day at the doctor’s office we find out that our normal insurance would not cover anything and were told to file a claim w/our auto insurance since it was a “car accident”. The auto insurance denied the claim since it was a hit and run. So me being the stubborn person I am I said the hell with it and did my own rehab. I researched my injuries and the best treatment for them. I upped my reading and puzzle solving activities to help my brain recover and the day after being released I was back to my normal routine of walking my dogs ( we didn’t get very far, but we tried) and keeping up with the household chores like cleaning and cooking. I walked up and down the stairs leading to our apartment to help my leg recover. I did lifting and stretching exercises for my back. It hurt like hell and took forever, but I did it. I was also back at work within a week of the accident. Sadly, due to not getting the professional rehab I required I begin to have problems at my job and my back got so bad that I would be forced to lay in bed for days on heavy doses of pain pills. I was finally forced to resign my position at my job and cash out my retirement fund for us to live on. My husband had just gotten laid off and we needed the money badly.

Now almost 5 years later my left leg is back to normal, I still have some back issues and have to be careful when lifting and to not over exert my self. I still suffer tremendous complications from my head injury. When typing my brain is faster than my fingers and I’m constantly having to recheck my spelling and grammar. Simple words are difficult and I keep a dictionary handy. I’m not as able to keep up with a fast moving chatroom and sometimes lose track of the topic/topics being discussed. Simple concepts can be hard to grasp and/or understand. If I over exert myself or get stressed out I have terrible dizzy spells. Naps are a major part of my day as I can’t seem to get on and keep a normal sleep schedule. And forget holding down a “normal” job. The least little bit of stress causes a re-occurrence of the head injury complications and even the nicest employer will have issues with me having to take too much time off no matter the reason.

But all in all I manage to lead a pretty good life with help from my wonderful husband. I’m still able to do most of the activities I used to do before the accident with some modifications. I still read, take long walks, surf the web and take care of my house, husband and pups. I can’t drive due to not knowing when a dizzy spell will happen, but since I did not drive before the accident this is no great loss for me. In hindsight should we have fought harder to get me the medical help I needed? Probably, but we were so tired of fighting, we knew the husband’s job was in jeopardy and he was liable to be laid off at any time and I was running out of paid leave and my HR department was beginning to get nasty as well. We were just tired of all the fighting and paperwork and worrying about finding the money for more co-pays for dr. visits that may or not have been able to help me.

This blog is not intended to garner sympathy for myself. Rather to show that despite the roadblocks thrown in my way I was able overcome a near fatal accident and get on with my life. And for those wondering, no they never did find the driver who hit me. There were no cameras on any of the businesses at that intersection and nothing was open at the time it happened. Well, the grocery store was open, but it is situated so far from the intersection that nobody saw anything. We tried to follow up with the police on a regular basis, but were always brushed off.

So if I’m slow in chat or slow to post responses to a blog or comment I’m most likely rechecking my spelling and grammar or trying to get the old brain to comprehend the signals my eys are sending it. Just have patience with me please, I’ll catch up eventually.