Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

I’ve been inspired

Ok. I was inspired by Bella’s post, where she explained a bit about herself by telling us of her horrifying accident. It made me understand so much more about her. . .her strength, her beauty, her amazing resilience and power. She made me realize how wonderful and amazing we women are. We make it through so much , and endure and survive where everthing says that we should just lie down and be done. Women, as a species, tend to be the most amazing creatures on earth. We take it all, embrace it, and sometimes internalize it. . .but somehow, we  make it out the other side, tempered. . .harder and stronger and more ready to deal with every little bit of shit that the world deals out to us. It seems to be our nature.

I sat here tonight. And my guy is home from the war. And we made love like wild things, and there’s a scatter of clothing on the kitchen floor to testify to our passion. And I gave him a full body massage and left him to sleep while I visited my youth.

Not many people in this world have seen the movie “21″ with Patsy Kensit. I discovered this movie when I myself was 21. And since that time, it has been a movie that always moves me and makes me think of the paths I’ve tread. It’s dark, and sad and full of moments that make me cringe. . .I’ve been there. . .I did that. . .I gave love to that depth and embraced the destructive lover that came into my life. We all go through our pain. And it is as individual as fingerprints. And, more than anything else, this movie made me realize that one’s capacity to love is something we have to keep such a close eye on. It is so easy to lose yourself in your need to help. But in the end, you can’t save anyone. You can only be you, and survive, and make it through no matter what it takes.

If you get the chance. . .watch “21″. It’s only on VHS. And it never made it to a theatre. But if you want to know something about me, watch it. Katy Rogue is me. And I’ve embraced that reality for a long time. She’s strong, she’s sassy, she’s weak and helpless. She is the woman I have been all my life, and I love her. She may not always get it right, but she tries, no matter what. And she gave me my rebel yell. . .

“I’m young, single and I was just fucking born!”

For me, life is all about living it to the fullest. I don’t want to get to the end and have to account for all the times that fear stopped me from doing what I really wanted to do. I don’t regret the things I’ve done. I regret the things I was too frightened to embrace.

So, there is my little bit about “getting to know me”.

I’m going to go curl up around that man who embraces every inch of me. . .the bigirl, the slut, the mother and the whore. Sleep well, my darlings. And remember that our time here is so short, and there are so many things to see and touch and smell and taste. Embrace it all, because tomorrow, it’s over. The Beatles said it best when they said “in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. I intend to end my days bathed in love and surrounded by drunk people celebrating my life. You have at least a decade or two to plan. . .see you all there!

Feeling nothing but love and beauty. . .for all of you. . .

PolliAnna