Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

Triumphs and Train Wrecks

Thursday night, my whole weekend was shaping up to be magical.

I went to visit my lovely friend. I’m going to call her Chloe, because I’ve always liked that name and it fits the wonder that I have for her. She’s one of those women who make me nervous. She’s beautiful, and centered, and so very strong. When I’m around her, I feel like a little girl with scabs on her knees. Awkward yet hopeful. I never can quite get myself to believe that I’m worthy of the positive regard of such an amazing creature.

I went to talk to her about our plans for the weekend. She had agreed to do me the honor of spending some loving time with my guy. So I went over to her house to talk about timing and plans. We had a lovely time talking and sharing girl stories. She kissed me for the very first time. What soft lips! What a tender, wonderful kiss! I stayed far to late, and left her house after a warm hug and an agreement for her to come over to my house on Saturday evening.

So I was excited and glowing when I picked Dave up at the airport the next morning. We spent the day making love. I’ve read that people instinctively close their eyes at the moment of orgasm because it’s too deep. We each have a core that we don’t share with anyone; a part of ourselves that is ours alone.  At the moment of orgasm, we cannot keep that piece of ourselves from shining out of our eyes, and so we unconsciously hide it by closing our eyes. And Dave held my face in his hands as we neared completion. Though we’ve never talked about that concept of hiding, we both consciously made the effort to gaze into each other’s eyes as we came.  It was one of the most profound experiences of my life. I’ve never felt safer or more loved than I did at that moment.

Later, we went to meet up with a small group of friends for drinks. We got to my favorite watering hole, and I saw my sweet friend from the wedding. The girl I knew in college and mentioned in the blog about that day. Tita. I hadn’t heard from her, but there she was! I went over and gave her a big hug and we started chatting.

Here’s where everything really starts to become complicated. We hadn’t really had the opportunity to catch up at the wedding. So, I left my group to chat and sat with her for a while. And she shared a shocking bit of information with me. My ex-husband has been lying about what happened during our divorce. Now, I knew that he was really fond of revisionist history.  I believed that I had enough love and acceptance inside me to let him be who he needed to be. But I had no idea that every person he talks to believes that I cheated on him. That I was the one who left. Though our marriage was ‘open’, he says that was only for me. He never had sex outside of our marriage. The three affairs that he had never happened. Only my one affair happened. And though he tried to be as loving and supportive as he could be, I just broke his heart and then I left him.

My first reaction to this revelation was to feel betrayed and angry. And it hurt to think that the people who called themselves my friends not only stopped talking to me after the divorce, but also believed every word he spouted. Tita said, “I’m so sorry that I didn’t question it. It didn’t fit with anything I knew about you, but I just let the bullshit slide by. And I’m so very sorry.”

It only took me a few moments to like his story. It’s so much better than the truth. Because the truth is that I was surprised and devastated when he demanded a divorce. And I spent a lot of time begging for another chance. And I worked so hard, with no reciprocity from him, to try and make our marriage work. When I looked back on what really happened, his story makes me look so much stronger and more self-assured. I thought it might be nice to let myself be the bitch in our divorce. So much better than being pathetic and desperate. But I couldn’t quite put it away. The knowledge stewed in the back of my mind and I had trouble sleeping that night. 

The next day, I bustled about the house making sure everything was ready for Dave’s date with Chloe. We went to Fredericks and bought her a nice little negligee for him to give her. And I got her a nice, sexy set at Victoria’s as well since her birthday is coming soon. As the time before her arrival grew short, I started to get nervous. And the tension inside me started to grow. I didn’t want to take the experience away from him, but my insecurity was starting to overwhelm me. She’s just so beautiful and interesting. And I was giving her carte blanche with my guy and his body. I set up a date for my lover to make love to another woman! What the hell was I thinking?

I expressed to both of them that it was important for me to push myself this way. To push my boundaries and really test if my open philosophy was something I could handle. I’ve always believed in my soul that sex and love come in two different packages. Having both is the ideal, but each one is valid and beautiful all on it’s own. And I really did feel like she was the perfect person to do this for me. Because I love them both. And how wonderful that they should get to meet and share their friendship as well!

Chloe arrived right on time looking lovely. She sparkles like sunshine on the water. And I introduced them, kissed him goodbye and all but ran out of the house. The plan was for me to disappear for the time that it took for them to have sex, and then they would let me know when I could come home, and we would chat and see where things led between the three of us. My stomach was churning, and I was just wracked with insecurity. So I went to the closest coffee shop with my journal in hand. I couldn’t write, but I found a nice man to chat with. Sometimes, it’s so easy to share with strangers something that you would never tell the people who know you. And when he asked why I was shaking and so obviously overwhelmed with anxiety, I just spilled it.

”Ok, this is probably in the realm of TMI. Do you really want to know?”
”Sure. I’ll even ask again. Why is such a lovely lady so obviously shaken?”
”I’m here, waiting for my boyfriend to finish making love to one of my dearest friends.”

After he got over his shock and amazement, he flirted and cajoled and charmed me. And he made me feel a little stronger. And a little sexier. He told me that I was an amazing woman. He said any man should feel blessed and honored to have a girl who so obviously loves and supports him. In short, he said all the things I needed to be telling myself. (Justin, where ever you are, bless you! I wish it had worked.) 

When the text came. . .”Come on home, darlin’. . .love you”. . .I showed it to Justin, hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. And he said, “you’ll be fine. Even though I just met you, I know you will be as loving and open as you’ve shown me you can be.”

In the five minutes it took for me to drive home, my anxiety made a violent resurgence. I pulled into the drive, and just didn’t know if I could go in. I sat in my car in the driveway, shaking. Not sure if I was going to vomit. And I saw Dave look out the window. I knew they were inside waiting for me. I knew that if I didn’t go in, they would start to worry.

I let the thoughts rush over me for about two minutes. The man I love with every inch of my being just made love to one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. They had sex in my bed. How am I ever going to ride him again and not imagine him seeing a much more beautiful woman doing the same thing? How is he ever going to look at me as I suck his cock and not wish that she were doing it? I can’t compare. I can’t be as gorgeous and dynamic. My breasts are never going to be as beautiful as hers. My kisses can’t possibly be as tender and sensuous. Oh, god. I fucked up.

And then I went inside, because I knew if I didn’t, they would both think that I was angry that they did this, and that wasn’t it at all. So I opened the door.

This next point, my friends, is the only thing in my life that I regret. I wasn’t honest with myself, or with them. They were sitting on my couch. She wore the outfit he bought her, and he was in his underwear. And they smiled and greeted me. Dave walked over and took my face in his hands and tried to kiss me and say, “I love you, and you’re still my favorite” and I shoved him away.  I said, “I feel like I may shatter. I need a glass of wine.” Chloe followed me into the kitchen.  I tried so hard to convey that I wasn’t upset with either of them, but upset about things that had little to do with the situation at hand. We managed about 10 minutes of conversation and interaction. She tried on my gift for me. And I tried to let them know that I still love them both. But I botched the whole thing. And my reaction turned a loving, beautiful event into something ugly.

She left because she said she understood that we needed to have a talk and some time to process. And I made him go remove any traces of their time together from my room. I couldn’t walk into my own bedroom. I told him to make the bed, and light some incense. I couldn’t even sit on my couch. I was shaking so badly that I kept sloshing wine over the sides of the glass. I ran a hot bath and climbed in hoping that it would relieve the tension inside me and allow me to stop shaking. And my poor sweet man walked on eggshells and tried to just be there and be supportive even though he really didn’t understand what was going on.

I sent him into my room to get me some clothes to put on. And I told him that I would NEVER be able to set up his trysts for him again. That it was too close. And that seeing them in their underwear when I came home was like a slap in the face, even though I had said that would probably be the best thing when we discussed it before the fact. He said, “Lover, I don’t understand what’s going on, but I’m just going to be here, and tell you that I love you, and I hope you’ll tell me that you love me too.”

It was then that I started to get angry with myself. I refused to let some inner voice keep me curled up and shuddering inside myself. I decided that I had to face my room. And I went in. I looked at my lovely bed, with its canopy that I built myself as an expression of my sensuality and beauty. And I was just so disgusted with myself and with that bitch inside my head that says I’m worthless and ugly. Dave walked in to find me stripping the bed. I tore everything off my bed and threw it. He said, “you don’t need to get violent”, and I told him that violence was just what I needed. I tore the canopy down, and threw that too. And I made that poor sweet man hide all of it in the closet. It wasn’t until I made him feel responsible for all my pain that I got real. Only then was I ready to admit that my entire reaction was a result of something I thought I had gotten over a long time ago.

I sat him down on the couch, and I made myself sit in the exact spot where she had sat. I couldn’t look at him. I cried as I admitted that I had almost called him Glen several times since I walked in and found them. I had to force myself to look at him and call him Dave. My habitual insecurity turned him into the man who used my love and acceptance against me. My ex-husband had three other women while we were married, and he put each one of them above me. He even married one of them. I had moved on and accepted that my ex was who he was, and it had little to do with me. But I guess the soul doesn’t forget as easily. Though I know that Dave is nothing like that, my conditioning was such that I couldn’t believe that he could have another woman and still value me.

If I’d been honest with myself from the moment I left them alone together, I might have been present and conscious when I got back home. I might have been able to admit that what I needed most was for the two of them to hold me and reassure me. If I could have let myself be in the middle of a hug with them, I think it would have done a lot to release all of that tension and anguish and help me accept that I am not less of a woman, or less important, or less lovely than I was two days ago. As it stands, they did everything I asked of them, and they took me at my word. And I fucked the whole thing up. And I’m just so very ashamed and horrified. I slept fitfully on the couch that night, until I heard him yell out in his sleep. He had a nightmare, and I think that might be my fault as well, because it’s never happened before. So I went and held him while he slept. And I lay there, awake and comforting the man I love, stewing about my behavior.

We spent Sunday reconnecting and reaffirming our love and acceptance of each other. And I overcame my fear of making love to him. I still can’t quite believe that he doesn’t picture her when he’s making love to me. But that’s my hang-up and my insecurity. I have trouble having faith in my own appeal. And I’m working on that. Dave just keeps saying that he loves me, and wants me to love me and see my own worth too. I’m trying.

We were lying on the couch last night, and he was holding me. And suddenly, I saw in my mind that moment when I shoved him away from me. He was just trying to reassure me and convey his love and I abused that gift. I sobbed before I could stop myself. He was immediately concerned and asked me what was wrong. When I told him what was running through my mind, I saw that flash of pain in his eyes. I put that pain there, and I’ll have to find a way to forgive myself for that. I made myself face my shame and look him in the eye. I told him that I will try my best to never allow myself to be so cruel again. It isn’t like me, and it isn’t something I ever wanted to do. My pain is not invalid, but it is also not his fault. And for me to bludgeon him with it was just so horrible and unfair.

So, dear ladies, there it is. Some triumphs. Some train wrecks. And I’m so very glad that it happened. I know that I’m going to be working on this issue for some time to come. My ex spent years teaching me to fear other women and their connection to my man. I wasn’t that way before I met him. And I thought that I had put away the ugliness that he cultivated. This event helped me to realize that while the wonderful, giving woman I used to be is still inside me, she’s been burned so badly that she still expects a firestorm. Even when there isn’t one anywhere near.

And I’ve let Dave know that I want to try again. I want us both to continue to feel free to have our own experiences.  I’ve always told him that I don’t want him if I have to cage him. And that’s still true. Though we choose to share our lives, we don’t want to own each other. And I know that when he does have another tryst with whatever woman he chooses, he’s going to be afraid of my reaction. But I also know that no matter what I’m feeling when that time comes, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I react honestly and with integrity. I didn’t this time, and I hope I’ve learned my lesson.

I’ve also apologized to Chloe. I feel like I need to apologize again. And again. And again. She acted out of love and kindness and caring, and I made her feel bad for that. I tried not to. But I didn’t succeed. She wrote this morning to say that she is happy to know that I don’t hate her and am still glad that she’s in my life. I hope that I’ll eventually be able to convey the fact that this event is helping me to heal and grow. I hope I’ll be able to get over my embarrassment and shame. I’m deeply saddened that I made this unpleasant for her, because she really was doing the Goddess’s work when she came to my house. Not in a way that any of us could have predicted, but Divine none the less. And I’m so glad that it happened with two people who genuinely love and respect me.

I know this is going to bring on some questions from all of you. At least I hope that is the case. Because you all have given me a forum where I can express this kind of experience and have the insight of loving women to help me process it.  Please, don’t be afraid to ask and question. I really do need the assistance of my sisters to rebuild myself in my best form. And this might just be the first time I’ve ever felt strong and safe enough to ask for real help in being the woman I want to be.

Toronto Brunch Reflections (June 28, 2008)

10 brilliant and brave bi-women met in Toronto today for brunch.  There were no shy ladies in this gathering of open-mindedness.  Within a short span of 2 hours our conversations covered all things sexual.  What is it with straight friends? we wonder.  Why can’t we talk like this all the time?  Why are straight women so boxed in? we ask.  Having already established that we are bi-friendly, bi-curious, and bi-sexual just by showing up allowed us to open up the floodgates of our thoughts and feelings…

10 minutes into our brunch we were sharing body art, lifting up skirts and pulling off sleeves to gaze at eachothers tattoos.  Each adornment had a story to share, offering a window to look into eachothers memories.  What about childhood? we asked eachother.  It was plain to see that we were all highly sexual beings from the very start.  One woman shared a story about playing ‘Man and Lady’ when she was a youngster…she always wanted to be the lady, of course.  Masturbation was a most popular memory.  Stories about playing, in an era of innocence, long before we were made to feel that masturbating should be kept secret.

Then we shared our ‘Top Drawer’ stories.  Common, ladies, you know what the ‘Top Drawer’ is…….that special place where you stash your sex toys!  And how it all goes to waste just sitting there, when we all wish that we could play dress-up and have a play-date with another like-minded woman.  Mmmmmm.  

Suddenly, we discover that one of the ladies has a $150 gift certificate for ‘Seductions’, a sex shop on Yonge Street.  Woah!  We want to help her spend it…

The Brunch sadly ends, with hugs and kisses, and excitement for the upcoming Ladies Nite Out. 

But, wait!  A smaller group of us branches off and we head down to Seductions.  We want to spend that gift certificate on something very special, of course.  My fantasy suddenly becomes a reality.  One of our gorgeous ladies is trying on corsets, and I get to go in the changeroom with her and pull in her strings!  Another beautiful babe finds a great book on bisexual erotica for women.  One other luscious lady purchases a mini-vibrator, for keeping herself charged when she’s on the go!  I buy a sexy pair of black high heels, and a glass cock.  

This brunch went from hot, to hotter, to super-hot!  I can’t wait to meet these gorgeous babes again…

Thank you Bliss Warrior for starting something super sexy in Canada.  We adore you honey! 

She Danced Into My Fairytale Part One A Baby Bi-Girl Shares Her First Time

Once upon a Thursday morning I took a walk down the river to Danya’s for some tea and some wise, ferocious loving from my elder sister and, possibly, a tour of Hotel Bliss. She had been anxious to check in and I came equipped with my computer and router so we could set up in front of the waterfalls and have Internet access. Oh, the beauty of the natural mixed with the virtual.

The day was blossoming like the Bella Dona and the morning glory. I walked with a crisp step up the colorful path of fervency. Smells of plumeria and gardenias laced my happy mood . I arrived to the sounds of women laughing. A smile graced my face. They were lounging around the pillow-drenched floor in the half-indoor, half-outdoor kitchen and community space. One of the ladies was a friend of Danya’s I had met only twice briefly. I thought she was gorgeous but very giggly. She spun across the room in a way that made me think that I could not possibly keep up. I had heard the stories of her advanced ballerina and yoga moves, so I admired her beauty, but kept a distance.

I met her again on Wednesday. This time she was sitting still in the lotus position and I seemed to recognize the look in her twinkling eyes. We talked about nothing in particular. I gave her a hug on my way out to be
polite. My politeness, to my surprised, vanished the moment she reached out. As if pushed by a ghost, I pulled her into me tight. “Mmmmm, thank you,” she said as I let her go. Thank you, I thought?

Danya had told me on a couple of different occasions that I had to meet this girl. “I have a feeling about the two of you,” she’d say. I really didn’t pay much attention, but on Wednesday I found out why Danya innately
knew we should meet.

To my delight the poised ballerina decided to join us for tea and my royal design tour. The ladies oohed and ahhhed beside me as I flipped through the pages of Hotel Bliss. They shared stories of their love for women. I
showed them the guest blog and they wanted to hear a sample of what the girls were writing. So I read aloud to them Jungle Jane’s first blog. They loved the story and it brought up childhood memories for both of the
women.

The ballerina shared the story of her first kiss as a child–with a girl. “We were practicing,” she said with huge smile and a shrug of her shoulder. We giggled about the importance we placed on the best friend status.

Miss Danya said, “Wow, Jungle Jane sounds lovely. You should try to meet her.” (Wink, wink.)

The ballerina said, “So if I go on the hotel I could meet her?”

I said, “Well, you can meet her right now. Hello!” I explained to them how the Hotel Bliss site came to be. How it was born out of pure love, teamwork, and a desire for honesty, community, and empowerment.
Miss D and the ballerina had their pretty heads cocked to the side with pretty smiles on their pretty faces while they listened to the story of Hotel Bliss in front of a picturesque waterfall setting. Sparks were flying and the river was flowing.

The ballerina led me back to her dwelling were we laid for the next couple of hours watching the sunset. We talked candidly about bisexuality, desires, and the natural beauty and magic of women. She lay beside me
in her beautiful blouse that just barely hid her perfect nipples and listened. She was so understanding and comfortable. She encouraged meto pray to the universe about the perfect female lover for myself. “Be
specific,” she said, but I never am. I do not have the capability of knowing what specifically is perfect for me. I never would have known to ask the universe for a ballerina that would come and go like a shooting star. The
universe does a much better job picking out the details. The details were finally lying right beside me. I was staring at her details. I know I was. I had to check myself and look away. I didn’t want to seem a like a creepy
dude, but she saw who I was and smiled.

The sun had set on us and it was time to venture home. To my delight, she wanted to walk me home with her headlamp shining the way. Gentle as she is, she didn’t want me to walk home in the dark. So as a thank you,
I introduced her to the groovy grass field. The groovy grass is a deep bouncy flowing field with an ocean view. Running through the grass is like bouncing on clouds. When lying down, you are invisible to the rest of the world. At night the sky is a cosmic theater, a boundless playground of wonder. She lay there next to me in the grass, under the stars and we reached for each other’s arms at the same time and her legs fell over onto me. We didn’t say much; the constellations did most of the talking - whispering the fairytale.

We finally made it back to my yurt. I walked to the middle of the room and reached up with both hand for the trapeze and let my weight drop. She walked right up to me and grabbed the bar too. We hung there face- to-face, chest-to-chest. I put my feet on the ground and twisted the rope above until I could twist it no more. “I feel like a ballerina when I do this,” I said. I lifted my foot to let the rope untwist us into a spin that she can do without the help of a trapeze. When we stopped spinning, I could feel her heart beating against mine. I let go of the bar quickly and began to tidy up the house nervously as a distraction from my pounding chest. I gave her a shy goodbye hug. “Sweet dreams, see you tomorrow.” I went to bed and dreamed about tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED….

- JUNGLE JANE

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IF YOU ENJOYED JUNGLE JANE’S WORK, YOU MAY ENJOY READING HER OTHER TRUE STORIES:
CRUSHING ON THE TAKEN GIRL: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A GIRL’S FIRST VIBRATOR: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
GETTING HER NUMBER: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY

FROM OUR OTHER GUEST BLOGGERS:
V.
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO - A SERIALIZED TRUE STORY OF A GIRL, HER MAN, AND THE LOVER HE INTRODUCED HER TO.
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE - A LITTLE PATIENCE FOR SPANKING THE INTELLECT

DAPHNE:
PLAYING WITH GENDER: DAPHNE STRAPS IT ON FOR HER MAN
TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN: A BI-GIRL SHARES HER FIRST S&M EXPERIENCE
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THANKS TO THE MARVELOUS, MAGICAL GIRLS WHO CAME OUT TO BRUNCH THIS WEEKEND IN HOLLYWOOD. WE COULDN’T HAVE HAD A MORE WONDERFUL AFTERNOON. THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING SHY, BUT FOR COMING OUT AND MEETING OTHER BI-GIRLS! XOXOXOXO
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SHALL WE PLAY A GAME? PART TWO

Darling Bliss Warriors,

Hotel Bliss is almost ready for its public launch. After months of hard work and tireless dedication from the Hotel Bliss Team, we are weeks away from the site being completed.

I wanted to take a moment to appreciate the amazing, beautiful, sweet girls who have taken time out of their busy lives to help test, use, develop, and create the first private community for bi and bi-friendly girls.

In the last month, I have been traveling a great deal, which is bad for consistent blog writing, but great for meeting the lovely women who have joined Hotel Bliss. In Toronto, I hosted a brunch with the marvelous, Gryphon (her Hotel Bliss alias). We posted ads on Craigslist, and many bi women came out to dine with us for community and conversation who were not familiar with the Bliss Warrior blog or Hotel Bliss. One of the highlights of the meal, was hearing Gryphon describe her experience using the blossoming site.

“One of the things I love,” she said, “is the diversity of women. There’s everyone from the young goth chick who’s super sweet to the joyful woman in her 40s bouncing on a ball topless. Everyone is super sweet. In fact, what is surprising about the site is how kind and friendly all the girls are to one another.”

Shortly after the brunch, I was delighted to see how many of the girls I met joined the site and became active members. One lovely blonde with the alias, Water Lily, has already organized two more events for bi-girls to meet in Toronto and is using the site to organize, plan, and keep the community growing.

In Los Angeles last week, the luminous Beverly Fairfax and I hosted a brunch where half the women were Hotel Bliss users and the other half were girls new to Bliss Warrior who found us through Craigslist or Myspace. This was the first time where women who had met online at the Hotel, got to meet one another in person. There is something funny when girls only know each other through aliases. When one gorgeous curly-haired fox was sharing a hysterically funny story, Beverly turned to her and said, “Are you Double Entendre?”

She said, “Yes, I am. You’re Beverly Fairfax, right? Hi!” Already online acquaintances, now they were becoming real life friends.

Later, when the brunch was ending and we were paying the bill, one of our new friends asked how we would all connect or stay in touch and I promoted the site. Right away, Beverly said, “One of the nicest aspects about the Hotel is how intelligent the girls are on the site. It is not just a kind community, but a thoughtful one, too.”

IF YOU HAVEN’T JOINED YET DUE TO SHYNESS OR CONCERNS OVER THE SITE BEING IN IT’S BETA-TESTING PHASE, NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO JOIN HOTEL BLISS AND MEET OTHER BI-GIRLS

1. Next Monday, we are starting Round Two of Bliss Warrior’s Slumber Party Game (CLICK HERE to read more about the game). Round One helped many bi-girls to become new friends when they each answered the question, “What is the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?” Each day, I posted a naughty answer on the Hotel Bliss site with three names of girls who may have written the answer. Users had 24 hours to guess who they thought wrote the answer and why. When I posted the winner of the last game, I posted a new naughty answer with three new naughty girls. As one user wrote me during the game, “Hotel Bliss is changing my life - I’m not kidding!” I think she was delighted by the many girls who got to know and adore her gorgeous self after reading her naughty answer.

2. Round Two is a little different from Round One because you can choose to answer one of two questions. The first is, “Describe a first time.” A first time can be with a boy or a girl, it can be sexual or not. As long as it is a first time, it qualifies you for the game. The second question you can choose to answer is, “Describe a fantasy you have masturbated to.” Already, many girls have have written to me with their answers and are excited for Monday when the game begins.

DON’T MISS OUT AND JOIN THE SLUMBER PARTY GAME!

1. If you are not a member of Hotel Bliss yet, CLICK HERE to fill out a membership application or email me on myspace at www.myspace.com/theblisswarrior with your e-mail address and I will send you an invitation to join. [PLEASE NOTE: HOTEL BLISS DOES NOT WORK ON INTERNET EXPLORER. PLEASE USE SAFARI OR FIREFOX TO ACCESS THE HOTEL.]

2. Once you are a member, e-mail me your (1) first time story OR (2) a fantasy you’ve masturbated to through the Hotel Bliss site.

3. On Monday, join in the fun by trying each day to guess who wrote which story.

THERE IS NO REASON FOR BI-GIRLS TO FEEL ALONE WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OF US MAGICAL CREATURES OUT THERE. JOIN THE HOTEL AND JOIN THE SLUMBER PARTY. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THE DECISION.

XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT HOTEL BLISS:
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?
THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, HOW DO I MEET BI-GIRLS?
THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, HOW DO I MEET BI-GIRLS? PART TWO
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BLISS IS ATTENDING THE NYC PRIDE PARADE. WHO ELSE WILL BE IN THE VILLAGE SHOWING THEIR BI-PRIDE???
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Business Love Affair

I’ve mentioned that my business partner, Katy, has been sick. She’s really sick. And I’m so very worried about her. I’ve been trying for the last two hours to write a blog about her, as a tribute. And to get as many people as possible sending positive energy her way. And I can’t seem to make coherent paragraphs. I just keep getting lost in my worry and concern. So, I’ll just write a few little snapshots to illustrate all that she means to me.

Katy has this adorable ritual that she performs before every appointment. She gets into her work clothes and then dances in front of the mirror. In her real life, she’s a self-proclaimed prude. But when she puts on her Katy persona, she becomes the temptress. She dances to make herself feel sexy and put her in the mindset to do business. And when I sit on the bed and watch her before our client arrives, she is just so beautiful. Her body gyrates in black velvet, or twirls in pink zebra stripes, and her waist-length red hair entrances me as I watch it swirl around her lovely round ass.  In the process of making herself feel sexy, she kindles my desire so that by the time the client does arrive, we’re both wet and ready to make our magic.

Katy has this wonderful musky scent. We share a client who says that all redheads share a distinctive taste. She’s the only redhead that I’ve ever tasted, and I can say that she has a flavor that is uniquely Katy. The first time I buried my head between her thighs, it was nearly intoxicating. Our client was taking me from behind, and with each thrust, my face was pushed into her lovely pussy. She adored the way I switched from broad licks to gently nibbling her labia to teasing flickers with just the tip of my tongue. Even then, I could read her so well that it took me only minutes to bring her to completion. And she’s multi-orgasmic, so I can keep her humming for as long as I like. She makes me feel like the sexiest woman on Earth when I have her laid out before me and quivering.

Katy experimented with women when she was in college. But it had been more than a decade since her last time when we finally got together. During our first three meetings, she restricted herself to breast play and kissing. She loved it when I dined on her lovely pussy, but hadn’t felt ready to reciprocate.  At the end of our third duo, she cradled my face in her hands and said that she was sad that she hadn’t been aggressive enough to insist on tasting me. We had another client arriving shortly, and needed to freshen up before he arrived. We got ready with an electric undercurrent buzzing in the air. The client who arrived was the lucky guy who experienced that progression. She licked me for the first time during that session. And after her first taste of me, she raised her head and looked at me in wonder. “You taste heavenly!” was all she said. I recognized that hunger and surprise in her eyes. It was exactly the same way I felt the first time I tasted her.

Katy has discovered just the right way to send my mind reeling. I enjoy oral sex, but it isn’t something that will bring me to completion. Katy still likes to lick me, but she knows what I need to get me there. Maybe it’s her fiber art and knitting that keeps her fingers nimble. Whatever it is, she has the most amazing hands. She knows just how to touch me. She uses just the right number of fingers for penetration and just the right technique, stroking my vaginal wall just behind my pubic bone and creating that perfect pressure that makes me lose myself completely to the sensations. She pinches my nipples and strokes my pussy inside and out in glorious combination. And when she feels me starting to contract around her fingers, she gets this amazing, triumphant, angelic smile on her face. We share the sweetest kisses right after one of us has made the other explode into stardust.    

One of our favorite clients asked if either of us would be willing to have a duo with him and one of his other friends. I was busy, and not really that interested in the other lady, so I declined. But I conveyed the message to Katy and let her know that the lady in question was ok. Katy replied that she saw us as so much more than business partners and didn’t want to play with any other ladies. And I was so glad to hear that she felt the same way I did. We are lovers, and we invite our clients to share in our connection. Part of what makes us so popular as partners is that our clients can tell that we genuinely love each other. And our passion and playfulness just naturally spill over into our time with them.

I helped Katy pick out flowers and trimmings for her wedding. She was very apologetic when she explained that it was to be a tiny affair with only 5 people present. She felt bad that she asked me to help and couldn’t invite me to the festivities. It was then that we established that there would never be any offense between us. We love each other like family. And I was just so overjoyed that she let me play a small part. I made a special treat for the wedding party to enjoy at the reception and donated fabric for the tablecloths and cushions. I was simply gleeful when she sent me pictures and I saw all my contributions in them. So I WAS there! And did I mention that her husband has a soul and wit that constantly charm me? What a beautiful, loving couple they are!

Katy and I have never played outside of business. That is where we interact sexually. She and her man have decided that outside play is only ok during business.  We have tentatively planned to share our love with our partners. You should see the smiles we sport when we play “let’s imagine” about what it would be like to share this wonderful connection with our dearest loved ones. So we decided to “keep it business” and make a trade. I’ll go and play with her and her husband, and in return, she’ll come and play with my man and me. We haven’t managed to make it happen yet. And now with her being so sick that having sex could kill her, we aren’t sure that we’ll get the chance to make that a reality. When she comes to town, we spend our non-business time trolling the discount stores and hobby shops. We giggle and try on clothes and plan our next crafting projects. We hunt eternally for the perfect pair of sexy high heels that won’t make my little Earth Mother feel unstable. We nibble on finger foods and talk about our mutual clients. In Katy, I have that rare combination of dearest friend and sweetest of lovers.  

Katy got sick about a month ago. She woke up in the middle of the night with her face covered in blood. It was her gums that were bleeding. Her husband feared that she had an abscessed tooth or something of that nature. When they couldn’t stop the bleeding, he rushed her to the emergency room. She has a rare condition in which her body is producing antibodies that attack her platelets. They have tested for all the usual causes. She doesn’t have any of them. It is a blood disease. It is not sexually transmitted. In fact, the doctors say she cannot transmit it at all. She doesn’t have lupus or leukemia. She does not have HIV. I don’t have the official name they’ve given to her malady so I won’t muddy the water by offering one. But the “normal” count of blood platelets is about 150,000–400,000 per mm. When they did a full blood analysis, her count was at 15,000. The doctors said that any little bump could cause internal bleeding that they would not be able to stop. She had a transfusion, and spent the next few weeks in bed wrapped in blankets. She kept her spirits up by working on her fiber art. And she started on a course of steroids. That seemed to work and her platelet count rose. We all thought she’d be right as rain in no time. She’d have to make some changes. No more wine or even aspirin for her ever. And constant vigilance for the rest of her life. But she was getting it under control.

Katy planned her first business trip for this week. Everything was looking great for her return. Her friends had missed her, and she was looking forward to a bit of income to offset the medical bills. Before she left her hometown, she had another blood test. The news isn’t good. Now, not only are her antibodies attacking her platelets so that her counts are down again, but they have started attacking other systems in her body. She wasn’t specific about which systems. But the doctors have decided that it’s time to employ more drastic treatments. Katy is starting chemotherapy this week.  

So, if you have any positivity to spare, just picture a lovely, petite redhead sitting in a Yurt in the mountains and send her a little strength. She has so much love and light inside her. She needs to be strong enough to shine again.

Warmest kisses and best of wishes for you and all of yours,
~Lola

Natural Beauty: Hair Series - Hair pampering

As I stated in my last blog – taking accutane wreaked havoc on my hair. For awhile, I didn’t think I’d ever get a healthy looking mane again. But with patience, gentle care, and many many trips to the grocery store produce department, I’m happy to say it’s looking pretty darn good these days. I’ll share other tricks that helped along the way, but along with the right tools, what I feel really jump started my hair to health were some great hair masks.

Yes, that’s right. Just like a nice facial mask can work wonders on your skin, the right ingredients can bring life back to your hair. The good news is that it can be cheap too! Below are some of the recipes I really like – starting with my absolute favorite. But don’t be afraid to mix up the ingredients to find the combo that works best for you. Try them out once or twice a week and see the difference! (Oh, and don’t forget, organic products whenever possible!)

Moisturification

• 1 over ripe banana
• ½ ripe avocado
• 1 tbsp honey

I attribute most of the rehydration of my hair to this delicious concoction. Bananas contain amino acids, potassium, and vitamins A, B, C and E. All this gives you softening properties, increased elasticity and split end prevention. And while I don’t much care for the taste of avocado , this fruit is a beauty staple for me. Full of hydrating fatty acids, it’s great for all kinds of things! Skin, hair, puffy eyes, you name it! Combine with honey, which is jam packed with humectants, and you’ve got one luxurious hair mask.

Blend all ingredients in blender until smooth. (Any chunks make rinsing more difficult). Place a towel around your shoulders, or wear an old t-shirt … This one can get a bit messy… Comb your hair and section into six pieces. Starting with the back of your head at the neck, use your fingers to gently pull the mixture through your hair. Begin at the scalp and pull through the ends of your hair for each section. Once all hair is covered, use a plastic bag, or plastic wrap to cover your hair. Leave on as long as you like, but for at least 30 minutes. Rinse and shampoo. Conditioner is only needed if you need help with the detangling. My fine hair tangles easily, so this is usually a must for me, otherwise the mask should provide all the moisturizing you need. If after shampooing you find you still have any mask left in your hair, you can shampoo a second time, or if you have the time to wait until your hair dries, using your natural bristle brush should pull it right out.

Shinesation

• 1 egg yolk
• 1 tbps olive oil or almond oil
• ½ cup cool water

Egg yolks are an excellent source of protein and good cholesterol – but that doesn’t mean you will only benefit if you eat them! Egg yolk is great to use on brittle hair, and it adds shine like nobody’s business. Olive oil and almond oil are great for sealing split ends and helping keep moisture in your hair. I prefer almond oil over olive, but it tends to be pricier.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and beat well. (The water helps with smoothing the mixture into your hair). Apply to wet, clean hair and leave for 20-30 minutes. Rinse well – but be warned – use warm water, but not hot. You may end up with scramble eggs!

Repairifying

• 1 egg
• ¼ peeled cucumber
• 1 tbsp olive or almond oil

A variation of the recipe above, the added cucumber brings vitamins, minerals and antioxidants to the mix. In particular the caffeic acid in the cucumbers protect hair from damaging UV rays. This one’s also great if you have chlorine damaged hair!

Blend oil and cucumber in blender, then add egg. Pull through wet, clean hair. Let sit for 20 – 30 minutes, rinse. Just as above, careful not to rinse with hot water so you don’t cook your head!

More Poems by Water Lily

A sigh in the bed
A look in passing
Busy we live
Connected by love
A home in blossom
A boy in growth
Trips and events
Always things to do
Taking care of
Maintaining our bonds
Trusting that things
Will evolve and remain
Strong
Stable like pillars
Withstanding the forces of nature
Standing close beside
Always remaining
Yours

 __________________________

Sometimes when I’m floating along
bobbing gently in the sea
with the sun shining warmly on my face
feeling complete and serene
a wave of fear engulfs me
and I worry that I won’t find land
the salty water and angry sun
will burn and dry my aching bones
I search for my lifeline
Then I see you
pulling me in
hand over hand
A look of understanding
Cradling me back to reality

________________________

In the space
between you and I
are dreams and wishes
thoughts and questions
ebbing back and forth
rocking like the hull
of a beautiful old boat
that has traveled
all this time
before we knew each other
waiting to set sail
testing the water
towards an unknown journey
taking us safely across
the oceans in our hearts
to an island in our eyes
where all our aches and pains
are absolved in one glance
and so we go…
to this space

Poems by Water Lily

She walked alone keeping to herself

Always moving forward

No good-byes no tears

Avoidance became her method

Never having to explain why

Who would care to know

She could never express that which burned her heart

She smiled and danced around the truth

Recognizing others truths and blowing a whistle on everyone else

but herself

She did not believe it necessary

Who could love a ghost

__________________________

Without a map without a plan

No compass or emergency pack

Adeventures and people to explore and see

I’ll stay for a while I guess

Things could be worse I think

It’s not so bad in here

Better than it was in there

If you scare me I will jump

So high that I will fly

To a new location to start again

I know beginnings

I am an expert at making fresh starts

My existence thrives on leaving those behind

Scratching their heads not knowing what just hit them

______________________________________________

She doesn’t know how to fly

Or gather up her needs

She could fly into a window

Or land on a bug zapper

She wants to go back inside where it was warm and dark

Out here the expansion terrifies her mind

Too many traps lie waiting

Can she sit on your broad shoulders

Fly into those blue eyes

Just for a while to rest

Without losing her breath

She needs to rest

In a safe place

Warm and dark again

_____________________________________

What are they talking about

Sharing thoughts caring

So much chitter chatter

I can do this too but

Sometimes I’m not there

My mouth is moving

My eyes are alight

But I am floating up above

Watching everything from the clouds

My real thoughts are in the sky

Moving in circles, storms

I want my thoughts to rain down all over

And you and I can dance naked

In the showers of hope that live

Inside my wet wet heart

Okay…

So my first blog isn’t about sex. It isn’t about being bi(which i so love). Or even beauty, well not human at least. I’m sitting here at work(playing hooky) and looking out my window. I see fog. Not really very dense, not really even foggy. It’s more like looking out at a living thing, swirling, pulsing, moving to everything around and in it. The wind, the cars, the sun, all push, pull, and glare at the existence of this fog. And yet it persists, stubbornly sticking around to be pushed, pulled, and burned. And that’s kinda what makes it so beautiful. The wind, cars, and sun are what’s making this fog different, but none of these things are really noticed until one sees their affect on the fog. For a moment, the fog seems to have given up, but it’s back, and thicker than ever. It’s just there, doing it’s thing, tolerating the treatment it receives and swallowing it up and taking into itself and allowing said treatment to show it’s true beauty to the world. Or at least to those that are looking. I’ve seen fog in many different forms. As a kid, i’d walk a mile to the bus stop down a mostly gravel road in the early morning. During most of the winter there was fog, dense fog, thin wisps, the kind that moves around you as you walk, the kind that simply parts to allow you passage. After high school I spent some time in Santa Cruz. driving home to the Bonnie Doons(past the outskirts of town) i would drive down this most enjoyable road, all curves and little hills. This road ran from the beach(sea level, of course) to the foothills of some small mountains and would as such go through a cloud layer at night when the clouds had settled down on top of the mountains to rest for the night. Driving home with naught but headlights for illumination, I would pass though clouds. White, fluffy, looks kinda like cotton candy, clouds. It was an experience. The beach had it’s own fog. More like a ceiling or a blanket for the cove I drove by every night. It would touch the beach with just a little fog, not enough to even notice unless you had a flashlight, but gradually gathering the deeper you went with your tiny pinpoint of light. But this morning I saw something new that nature hiding in her skirts. This persistant, wonderfully liquid, free floating, body of water in the air. It just fascinates me, nature. I’m pretty much looking at the way water behaves in the ocean in the air outside my window. Eventually the sun will think it’s won and the fog will go back to Mother’s skirts, giggling in it’s knowledge that just as the sun will leave and come back, so will it, unfailingly enjoying it’s moments reeking havoc on the little humans that think they have an affect. Well there you have it: my very first ramblings in the hotel. Sorry if you expected more, but I wanted to write and here is where I felt safe to write such things. Next time I’ll write about sex. *__* ‘ ‘