Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

A sigh of relief: Coming out to my friend

I went to go pick up my check, thinking I would just be in and out. In my case, nothing really goes as planned for me. I end up wandering to see my friend that is working her department. Before I can see her, I hear her lispy voice ” hi chi-chi girl!” ( she calls me that in reference to my new clit piercing). I turn and I blush in her direction. She hugs me. ” I knew it was you, because I saw that big butt of yours.” I laugh thinking about all the gossip I have heard regarding my ass from co-workers. I am not offended. I feel complimented, in fact.

So we both get to talking about plans for the weekend. I remind her of my trip to California. She beams ” you are the luckiest girl I know.” She thinks it’s admirable that my man and I have been so strong thus far in our now two-year relationship. She asks if I have been out lately. I mumble something about working and not having time. I mentioned something weird that happened one drunken night recently. Her eyes lit up. “Oh, you have to tell me!” I say ” nah, you really don’t wanna know.. you’ll probably think I am weird or something…,” I trail off. She assure me, and after five minutes of gentle prodding I admit to having a threesome. Her eyes grow large “WITH TWO GUYS?!!!!”

I say no…

She stares a second…

I say ” it was with a guy and a girl, I’m bi.”

[[[Before go on, I have to tell you that I have been so very scared to admit this important part of my life to her. She comes from a strict Christian faith background, and we will just say some things she is very close minded about So for about a month now I have been trying to be as discreet as possible on Myspace and such. I knew that when the time came, I could very well lose my new bubbly, vivacious, and fun-loving friend in an instant]]]

” Oh, that’s cool. I have a friend who gets drunk and kisses chinas..,” she says in her slight Puerto Rican accent. I start laughing so hard. Part from the relief of her not freaking out…and for her response. It was such a weight lifted. I felt this rush to my head. I didn’t drive her away after all!! I explain to her how other female friends reacted negatively to this, and how they wanted to know nothing of my being bi.

She grins at me with her mouth full of shiny cute braces ” Are you kidding me girl?, I am curious! I’ll ask you everything!” I laugh some more. She asks me if I like doing certain things to women. I am so not used to being put on the spot like that.

So I wait until the end of her shift, and we head off to our local sex shop. She’s never been. It was a first for the both of us. Two good things came out of it: coming out to my close friend Sheilla, and my new Rabbit toy = D

I was the last to know I was bi!

I was twenty when I finally decided that there was no getting around it. I was unashamedly, irrefutably bisexual. The funny thing was, I had been saying I was bi since I was fifteen. Now, before you accuse me of being the type of girl that would make out with another girl at parties just to get attention, let me explain that I was hopelessly clueless about who I was even when I was staring straight at myself. Until I was twenty, I called myself theoretically bi. I knew I thought girls were stunning, but I had never felt a deep emotional attachment to one.

That changed when I met Jaime. Jaime was a bi girl who was an acquaintance of mine. I was dating a man at the time and they had fooled around. Overcome with guilt, she insisted to him that she had to tell me. Up until that conversation, I really didn’t know her that well. We started talking and I immediately became interested in this delightful and complex girl. After one conversation, it didn’t matter that she had fooled around with my boyfriend. In fact, I was happy because I never would have discovered how wonderful she was otherwise.

Jaime was just as surprised as I was at my reaction. I fell head over heels for her in a surprisingly short period of time. My man became convinced that I liked girls more than I liked boys. I was fighting spontaneous romantic urges I had never felt before in my life. I called her my inamorata.

Now here’s what I valued most about this precious bit of time where I had my inamorata’s affection. I began to look at women differently. I had always had a somewhat uneasy relationship with other women. I found them intimidating, inscrutable, or too catty for my liking. Now, everywhere I turned I found something wonderful in the women around me. Their beauty, their intellects, their hopes and their creativity. They all reminded me of her. I also had far more self confidence because I loved her and I was a woman just like her, so I began to love myself. I looked different when I saw myself in the mirror. This is what my love for Jaime did to me.

After she left and the glittery distraction of infatuation began to fade, I started thinking back on my life. I realized that I had not been theoretically bi for years, I had just been plain old bi in reality.

When I was a kid, I had been interested in other girls my age. In junior high and high school, I had checked out female celebrities and flirted with my best girl friends. At the age of fifteen, I had come close to losing my virginity to another girl before I had been scared that someone might find us out. At sixteen, an ugly rumor circulated that I had tried to have sex with a girl I had harmlessly flirted with.

And yet I still dared to say that I was only theoretically bi. I was half in the closet all those years. I fully admitted I was bi, but still had my own doubts. Maybe I would have sex with a girl, but I didn’t think I could love one. To commit to another girl emotionally would condemn me to a life of bisexuality. There are a lot of places I could go with this discussion, but I am going to talk specifically about self identification.

You can be bisexual and still not incorporate it into how you see yourself.

There are women out there who are interested in other women and want to be loved by someone like them but do not identify as bi. There are women out there who identify as bi and yet still insulate themselves in doubt to help preserve a semblance that they might be normal. Some bi girls may desperately want to believe that other girls are a passing fancy, just so they do not have to face the pressure. It is difficult to be gay. It is getting easier, but what some people don’t realize that it is hard to be bisexual too. It comes with its own variety of intolerance, misunderstanding, and objectification.

I cannot stress the benefits of authentic self-identification. The world may be raging around you but you will be the calm center. Be authentic and live with integrity. There is nothing worse than having to hide the love you have to give and who your heart gives it to.

Never Have Sex With Your Fiance’s Sister - Part I

  I didn’t plan for anything crazy to happen when I invited my best friend, Wendy, over to the apartment I shared with my boyfriend’s sister. We both had the day off and just planned to watch movies and hang out. A couple of hours into our fun, Holly (my roomate) showed up with a man about our age whom I hadn’t met - not unusual behavior for Holly; we always joked about who was going to be the next Flavor of the Week.

  His name was Tom. He was tall, thin, lanky with glasses, and had a nice smile. He wasn’t my type physically, but he seemed like a pleasant man and so we all chatted for a while and just generally hung out.

  As young people do, we soon got restless and decided to go out. I thought, why not take lunch to my boyfriend at work? So we all piled in my car and headed out. The two in the back were getting cozy, and my best friend made a statement. You know the kind that hides a bit of truth behind a short laugh?

 ”You guys are starting to make me jealous!” she said.

 To our surreal surprise, Holly reached her hand up front to touch Wendy’s breast.

 ”Here,” she flirted, “You don’t have to be jealous.”

 The still sex-shy girl inside of me made my eyes widen, as the vixen in my chest caused a giggle to come from a sly smile.

 ”What about me?!”

 Suddenly I had four hands upon me as I gripped the steering wheel, trying to keep steady on the road. I loved the feeling…it all seemed so taboo! One of my breasts was being fondled by… I didn’t even know who, while another hand was creeping up my inner thigh. I’d always thought girls were beautiful and wondered if I might like to be intimate with one…though my very christian childhood prohibited it and until just recently, I’d always pushed away the idea as something wrong. Now here I was with two girls all over me as they kissed each other, and a man whose last name I didn’t even know was watching from the backseat!

 ‘You’re driving to your boyfriend’s work,’ a tiny voice in the back of my mind kept telling me, ‘You’re driving to your boyfriend’s work.‘ Somehow it got pushed aside by the curiosity that was still pounding in my chest.

  Oh how I should have listened.

  We reached our destination and pulled ourselves together to walk inside without looking suspicious. As wrong as it was - and it truly was - it somehow made everything that much more tantalizing. We all sat down with my sweet and adoring boyfriend and eyes darted across the table as I flirted with my best friend and looked at his sister in amazement; SHE’D TOUCHED ME! So wrong. So exciting!

  I remember seeing Tom there as…not an enticement for sex, but soley because he made it even more off limits. I’d never had sex with another person in the world other than my boyfriend, much less a threesome…but a FOURSOME!? How many times in your life do you get the chance to do that sober and so casually as was presented to us that day?

  A half hour later we left the establishment and I threw the keys at Holly, “My turn in the back!”

 I pulled Wendy in behind me as I crawled in, forcing the man to the front. Ha! Now the fun was going to begin…Holly adjusted the rearview mirror so she could watch us as we played with each other. Our hands began exploring beneath the shirts that covered our sensitive round busts and we kissed that sweet kiss that only women can have between their soft lips.

 ”Okay I’m getting lonely up here, that’s no fair!” We smiled and leaned up front to include the driver in our fun.

  By the time we finally got home, we were all so worked up that we raced inside and into my bedroom, where we found a queen sized bed waiting for us.  I stood there a bit shyly - not sure what to do, but anxious to do something. Wendy soothed my anxiety when she pulled me into the bed and climbed on top of me, fondling and giggling with me over the sheer odd fun we were having. Tom laid down next to me with Holly and we played as seperate couples in the dark. I felt shy and scared and like I was doing something wrong, but wanted to experience it so badly that I closed my eyes and tried to push all thoughts out of my mind. Wendy reached over and felt the two beside us, and the moaning began.

  Holly very much enjoyed a woman’s touch while Tom was slipped inside her. I reached out and slid my hand across her stomach and up to her chest, barely seeing her mouth open and eyes closed in the dark. She rolled off of Tom and I saw a nine inch penis hard and ready to go. He sat up and took Wendy under him. I kissed her as he inserted himself into her soft genitalia. He worked her long and hard until she finally shouted out as she orgasmed. I took a breath then, partly for realizing I’d just helped a girl come, and partly because I knew it’d to be my turn next.

  I was scared shitless.

   I felt Holly pulling me closer to her and positioning me right under Tom. The girls were touching me and kissing me and that helped me relax again, but before I knew it there was a male member inside of me, hitting me rough and going in as deep as it could. I didn’t like it one bit.

   ‘I thought that giant dicks were supposed to make a girl feel GOOD?’

  It was terribly uncomfortable and even hurt; he was jabbing me, as if he were a boy poking a frog with a stick! I felt as though I could feel him bruising my stomach - despite 21 years of having that thing attached to his torso, he still had no idea how to use it! My boyfriend was such a great lover, it never occured to me that anyone could be so utterly terrible at something so standard an activity.

  My boyfriend.

  From that moment I lay there, waiting. Simply waiting.

  When will this be over? Oh god this is so annoying. I just know I’ll pay for this later…

  Finally he got off me and switched to one of the other gal’s, and I decided to take a break and watch. They seemed to be having a good time…well, let them. When we were finished, we flirted and acted silly, playing around and making jokes. Then, Tom made mention of his camera.

  WARNING: Never…EVER…under ANY circumstances allow ANYONE that you don’t completely and FULLY trust to take pictures of you while in an incriminating state. i.e. Naked with your boyfriend’s sister and some strange guy while you wrap your legs around your best friend.

To Be Continued……

Be on the lookout for Part II, when an engagement, lies, karma and a two-tongued devil take over the real life characters of Never Have Sex With Your Fiance’s Sister