Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

Possibilities for Dreams to Reality

My husband and I have always been together with the belief in polyamory (the belief in many loves). We are not swingers, nor have one of those “open marriages” like people often assume. There are many definitions of polyamory and they very for each person or couple. For us, it is the actual belief of building an extended family of deep friendships and lovers. That all these friends and lovers know of each other and “gel” with one another.

My dream, if it was legal, I would actually wed 2 men and 4 women; well for me that would be heaven! They would marry as many as they loved and we would all live in one big community!! Not to be a cult! We have no religious affiliation and in fact despise organized religion. We just believe in that unconditional love. “There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.” - Jane Austin

That quote is really the appitamy of what we believe. I love love and have so much to give. I have found a man who believes the same and lets me be me. Whether I want some “strange” or I want to love another I have that freedom and so does he. Ahhhh the idea of utopia!!

Since living in New Mexico two and half years we have met many wonderful people that we love deeply. Many platonic and many more in-depth than that. But we include them all in our family status and I truly am blessed. Even so neither of us had met anyone to take the place of a deep love.

Very recently my husband has obtained a new lover, one who is such a wonderful addition to our poly family. I look forward to building a friend ship with this woman and she really has quite a lot to offer to this family. She was/is a hard core swinger and is now being introduced to a new life and way of thinking. I always find it so amazing when we can touch someones life to the point of opening their eyes to another way of life.

I don’t have a problem with swingers they are just VERY different from poly families. Swingers are very much into an anonymous sense of sex. You are lucky if you know names or anything about the people in swinger clubs and situations. We had even been shunned from a swinger group one time we went to a party. Once we mentioned our belief system about caring about the person we fuck no one would even talk to us after that. We now have introduced to another wonderful human being that there is more out there if you want it! Ahhhhh I get all mushy thinking about it.

In addition to my husband new lover I have also met a man. A very wonderful man whom has had a very “vanilla” life. Vanilla meaning for him, has only had monogamous relationships. When telling most men about my beliefs they jump into this creepy kinda conversation of, “so that means I could fuck you and that would be okay?” It can be quite disgusting trying to meet men to bring into a poly family and has always left a sour taste in my mouth. Which is why I usually only dated women, until now.

“Dean”, I actually met in a bar of all places! We talked, flirted and really had a connection from the moment we looked at each other. Normally I do not tell someone I just met my situation but I felt this time was different so I told Dean. (this is also a great test of what type of man I am talking too) His response was not a typical male response. He actually had intelligent questions and responses and genuinely wanted to know more. He asked for my number and we parted ways.

Now he didn’t write down my number so I did not expect an actual phone call so I chalked it up to just a moment  of great conversation and didn’t think of him again. To my surprise, two days later he called. We had more great conversation and he asked if he could take me out that night. I agreed with one condition, that he must meet my family and he agreed. He ended up flaking that night and again I wrote him off. I was thinking okay flaky guy, not really as different as I had hoped.

However Dean surprised me with perseverance with continued calls to apologize and more calls with great conversation and he asked me out again. I gave him a second chance and this past weekend we had a date.

I didn’t have any expectations of this date but when one persists and is willing to meet the family for a first date you must give some respect for that. When he arrived he handled himself very well. Was polite, respectful and all around charming. Ofcourse, just before leaving I ask my family (consiting of husband, girlfriend and cousin) what they thought. As always they said it is really all about how he treats you if he is a good man. (i just love my family!!)

First we went to dinner and the more Dean spoke the more I became open to him. His conversation was very intelligent and he was also very nervous. That to me  is adorable!! A 46 year old roughneck nervous and intimidated because of me?!?! Damn, that’s sexy!!

After dinner we went to a casino while walking to the casino he asked if he could hold my hand. He asked for permission?!?! Oh wow, that’s new to me!! We arrive to the first bar in the casino to have a drink. More intelligent conversation although a bit of him babbling from his nervousness. He then asked permission to kiss me. How do you say no to someone who asks permission??!!

That kiss was the moment we really connected! I hadn’t had such an amazing kiss since I met my husband. Kissing, it really is so important to me! We continued to another bar, talked, kissed and then went to play some black jack. By this point it was like I just couldn’t get close enough to this man. I could not keep my hands off of him!! This never happens to me, I am usually very reserved and controlled on a first date!!

We returned to one of the bars, kissed, hugged, held hands with more great conversation then danced! A man who likes to dance!!?? I’m toast!! LOL I really wanted to spend time alone in a quite place with him but didn’t want to say anything. He asked what I wanted to do and I wanted to leave the casino. He asked if I wanted to go to his house and couldn’t believe that yes came out of my mouth!!

To be continued……..

Its so difficult…

I just really don’t know how do go about meeting a decent girl that wants to kiss me when she’s sober.

Yeah, it’s fun. You go out with a friend or friends and 3, 4, 5 shots later she’s mauling you in the bathroom. Then it’s “I’ve never been with a girl” or “It’s been so long.” 

Well what about calling me, going out, getting frisky after just one drink? How about even just coming to my place? How about not freaking out about what you did, or pretending you don’t remember? How about considering anyone elses feelings?!?!

Now, making out with drunk girls is not a favorite habit of mine, but it seems to be one of theirs. All my female friends and aquaintences know that i am openly Bi. I guess they see this as an opportunity to use me for an experience. or maybe they really do dig me. I don’t know. I just wish one of the would call me up and say “Come by and hang with me” and not “Lets get drunk and see what happens”

“Walk Your Own Path”

<a href=”http://s162.photobucket.com/albums/t245/umi69/?action=view&current=thesacredfeminine2.jpg” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t245/umi69/thesacredfeminine2.jpg” border=”0″ alt=”Photobucket”></a>

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Walk Your Own Path
by Carrie Hart
carriehart.
com
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You will sometimes meet someone you believe is a soul mate; you feel the connection on many levels, perhaps instantly. And as you get to know each other more, you begin to feel the connection deepen and you feel that you must have an arrangement with this person that predated this lifetime.

Do not assume, however, that this soul connection necessarily means that you are meant to be happily together for this lifetime. It may be that you are meant to be friends and allies, helping each other out. It may be that you are going to help each other in ways that even involve conflict and separation, but with an end result that is beneficial to you. It may be that you are going to learn some lesson from each other and then go your separate ways.

What you need to do with all relationships, including those that have that instant and deep connection, is let be. You need to allow all of life, including close relationships, flow and evolve. You need to let people be who they are, not what you want them to be. And above all, you must not try to control, push and prod, manipulate and orchestrate relationships.

Have the courage and the heart, the centeredness, to follow your own path, to be who you are and love being who you are, no matter what. Shine out and show us who you are, so that people who are looking for someone exactly like you can find you. Do not allow setbacks or even major betrayals to dampen your shine and your being.

In life’s journey you will encounter much, narrow paths blocked by avalanches, forks in the road shrouded in fog, deep valleys of darkness and bright sunny days in meadows of golden poppies. It is all a part of life. And as you walk your path, other people will join you for a time: a dear friend, a lover, a spouse, children and parents. And then they may go away.

And through it all, the only constant is that you are you, that you have a core of truth within you and a path to walk, and if you allow your core of truth to tell you which fork in the road to take, if you allow that internal compass to tell you which mountain to climb, then you will do well indeed and have a fulfilling, interesting life. If you go chasing after others, trying to make things be other than how they naturally are, then you will find yourself suddenly awakening in a deep forest without knowing where to turn. You will find yourself lost and confused, because you have lost touch with your own personal truth.

And when this happens, you must just sit down in the forest, become very still, and return to yourself. You must reach down and find yourself again before you continue walking, or else you will simply go around in circles, becoming more desperate and alone and lost.

You are everything you need to be, just as you are, right now. You are the center of your own life. You are the beacon that shines and shows the way.

Be glad when others walk beside you, enjoy their company, connect as closely and deeply as you can, but always, always, shine your own light and walk your own path and allow them to do the same.

SHALL WE PLAY A GAME RETURNS TO HOTEL BLISS!

Darling Hotel Bliss Guests,

Each day more and more girls are discovering and checking in to Hotel Bliss. To make it easier for you to meet girls and initiate friendships, we are bringing back the fun and wonderful Slumber Party Game to the Hotel.

How does the game work?

First, to qualify for participation in the game, you must email me the answer to ONE of the following questions by next Friday, November 21st. (Please email me within the hotel by CLICKING HERE) :

1. Describe a girl you have (or had) a crush on. What did you like about her? What qualities made her so attractive to you?
2. Describe a time a girl flirted with you. How did you know she was flirting? What did you do when you realized she might like you? (If this hasn’t happened, describe a time you flirted with a girl. What happened?)
3. Describe your dream night with a girl. Does she take you out for dinner? Do you cook for her? What happens after dessert? [This is a very powerful question... The more detailed you are the more likely this night will materialize.]

Second, each Monday I will post one of the answers I received and give you links to three girls’ pages at Hotel Bliss. You must guess who wrote the answer and give me your reason why you think she is the author. When I receive a correct answer, I will post another answer to a question…

There is no officially prize to win, although the game will introduce you to many new bi friends which may lead to some fabulous flirtatious fun. So join the party! E-mail me your answer by CLICKING HERE.

XOXOXOXOX
BLISS WARRIOR

She Danced Into My Fairytale - The Conclusion of a Baby Bi-Girl’s First Time

DEAREST READERS, JUNGLE JANE RETURNS WITH THE CONCLUSION OF THE TRUE STORY OF A BABY BI-GIRL’S FIRST TIME WITH A FEMALE LOVER. IF YOU MISSED THE FIRST THREE PARTS OF THIS INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL AND EROTIC STORY, PLEASE CLICK ON ONE OF THESE LINKS TO CATCH UP: PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE. XOXOXOX BLISS WARRIOR

The ballerina and I lay entangled in the tall grass. Her orgasm still pulsating off her skin and penetrating mine. Listening to our racing hearts beat in, what felt like unison, we breathed the fresh Hawaiian breeze that rushed over our sun soaked bodies and relaxed. My wondering, ever fantasizing mind had been silenced in the zen of actualization. I had just made love to a woman for the first time and it was just how I imagined it to be. Incredible.

She kissed me. She sat up and gazed at my body. She stretched out on her side with her face at near my knees and her ass in my face. She pushed my knee to the side to explore my sex deeper with her eyes. “Yours looks just like mine,” she said in amazement.

“Can I,” she asked with bashful eyes.

“You can if you would like,” I said with my legs still open. She smiled and spread my lips apart with nervous fingers to see the pretty pink glisten in a way she had never seen before. She asked me how I like to masturbate. I described to her my love for the vibration. She oh-so-gently slid her finger up and down in my juice. I could feel her hesitation in the feather lightness of her touch. I found it sweet. I found her stretched out body beside me completely irresistable. I pulled her hip toward me so she rolled onto her stomach. She felt exposed on her stomach as I made room between her legs for my hand. Her shy giggles turned to sweet feminine moans when my finger found its way to her wettest spot and my tongue began to follow. The sounds that came out her, had me melting into her.

Meanwhile, our elder sisters were napping just a few feet away under the tree. We heard them rustle as they were waking from their naps, so I paused. She pressed her ass into the air, pushing my finger deeper inside. We heard the ladies again and we both laughed as she flipped onto her back, keeping my finger inside her. She pulled me down to her face to kiss my lips and roll around with me in the grass, laughing. Girls are good at laughing.

We smiled at each other and crawled back to the tree where we smoked a joint with our girlfriends and painted toenails. When the picnic was over, the ballerina and I hugged tightly, kissed, and walked our separate ways….back home to the men that we love.

My man could see that I was glowing when I walked through the door. He asked me in a half cocked smile from across the room, “Did you just kiss Sasha?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He smiled and walked over to me. “Did you do anything else with her?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He stood tall in front of me and grabbed me by my waist and asked, “Did you just have sex with Sasha?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He let go of me abruptly, walked to the bed, took his clothes off and made himself comfortable. In a serious tone of voice he said, “I want you to come tell me every single detail.”

I walked slowly over to him, taking my clothes off along the way, recalling every single detail starting from the moment my lips touched her nipple. By the time I was to the part where she came in my mouth, he was bringing me to the part where I splash my bliss all over his face. “Did Sasha make you do that,” he asked with a sexy, devilish grin. I smiled and shook my head no. Tingling in my skin, I finally understood that male satisfaction when you make a woman come. It’s a powerful, penetrating feeling and I’m hooked….on giving and receiving. I climbed on top of my man and took him inside me so he could feel just how thankful I am for his understanding and good, sweet love.

The next day I saw the ballerina at the waterfalls. She gently explained in so many words that yesterday was all that we would have. She felt that she had gone outside of her relationship with her man and while the experience was something she will treasure forever, she should not do it again. She was honest with her man and he was ok with it, but she shouldn’t do it again. “We could fall in love,” she said in such an airy Aires voice. Then she snapped dropped back to earth and said, “Besides, I’m not bisexual. That’s more your thing.”

I knew that she wasn’t where I was with her understanding of herself or her relationship with her man. As much as my physical side ached to hear her say what she said; I respected her decision. She wanted to remain friends and we tried, but our physical attraction to each other made it hard to focus. We had one last dance and kiss at the end of that intense week. The next morning, she packed up and moved away. Just like that. She came and went.

I felt shitty thinking about how long it might be before I got to experience something magical like that again. Little did I know the universe was just warming me up.

XOXOXOXO
JUNGLE JANE
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY OTHER BLOGS FROM JUNGLE JANE:
CRUSHING ON THE TAKEN GIRL: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A GIRL’S FIRST VIBRATOR: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
GETTING HER NUMBER: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
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CHAT WITH BLISS WARRIOR AND FRIENDS TOMORROW NIGHT AT 6PM PST AND 9PM EST. ALL HOTEL BLISS MEMBERS ARE WELCOME TO JOIN BLISS AND HER FRIENDS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM FOR A LIVE CHAT ON WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12! NOT A MEMBER OF HOTEL BLISS YET? VISIT BLISSWARRIOR.COM AND CLICK ON JOIN!

Some advice please

So, I’m really new to this…

I think I may have developed my first crush on a girl. Of course I have found girls attractive before, but I’ve never had any “butterflies-in-my-stomach” feelings for a girl.

I started a new job not too long ago, and that’s when I started seeing her. She works nearby, so I see her almost everyday. I don’t know much about her…only her name, and that she has a nice smile and pretty voice. I don’t even know if she’s gay or bisexual. And, even if she was, I don’t know if she’s single…or if she would even be interested in me.

I guess what I would like to know is, how do I go about finding out whether or not a girl is into other girls? I don’t want to assume that just because the way someone is dressed that means they’re gay or straight. And I don’t know if there is a way to find out without just asking it.

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Brave new world

I am moving forward in a new direction.  Was there a moment when a light bulb lit above my head as a sudden realization? Was it a slow awakening, blurry eyed at first with increasing clarity?  I cannot tell you.  I just know that here I am.  Seeing with new eyes.  Feeling with new skin.  Hearing with sensitive ears.  This new world is awkward and scary, exhilarating and intense.  The old me did not feel her feelings, did not acknowledge her own dreams and wore many masks.  Being the real me.  It is harder.  It is better.  Perhaps it will get easier with practice. 

Sexual Scripts

I am a terribly infrequent blogger~

What are sexual scripts?

In cognitive psychology, a script is a framework of information in your mind for a certain person, place, thing, or situation. It represents how things are supposed to happen. They are good because they help us learn and structure our experiences. They can be negative or have negative consequences.

A script for a fast food restaurant may go like this:

1. walk in the door
2. if there’s a line, wait in line.
3. when it is your turn, order from the menu that is above the cash register.
4. pay what the cashier tells you is your total.
5. wait for them to put together your order.
6. pick it off the counter and leave through the door you came in.

A part of social censure (or comedy) is doing things that don’t fit the script. What if I threw my bag of food to the ground? What if I cut in line? People get upset when others don’t stick to the script. It’s unexpected, and sometimes that is a big part of comedy.

Now, apply this to sexual scripts. Sexual scripts are the same thing applied to sexual activity. It is also related to gender scripts. When you go to a restaurant, who pays? What makes it a date versus dinner with a friend? If a woman invites you into her apartment, what is she conveying? Maybe she wants to continue the conversation or maybe it’s a sign she wants sex. What if one person interprets it an entirely different way than you meant it? Or what if you misinterpreted their signals? Most people have experienced this at some point.

How do we learn sexual scripts?

Scripts are learned through imitation. When you think of imitation, you might be tempted to think we learn our sexual scripts from our parents or from our peers. This is a really common belief for any kind of socialization. When it comes to sexual scripts, I tend to think these two groups have less of an influence than in other areas. How often did your parents go on a date in front of you? How often did you see their foreplay and how they initiated sex? Chances are they kept it pretty hidden, or you just didn’t notice it because you were too young.

I know it’s cliche to blame the media for the oversexual nature of our culture. This isn’t about blame and it’s not about some giant media presence. It is about specifically about movies, TV shows, and books. Not advertisements, music, or clothing. The nature of scripts translates well to the idea of movie or TV scripts. Books too correspond to that sequential nature of how things are supposed to happen. That is what scripts are all about. (I personally think they are less powerful in that they are not as visual, and so do not convey a lot of non-verbal cues that go into sexual scripts.)

Children and teenagers learn about sex through movies and TV shows.

Some scenes from movies:

A woman stands in the doorway, maybe she leans against it. She is dressed in lingerie or something else appealing. The man is on the bed. Is she communicating she wants some form of sex?

A man and woman stand facing each other. They pause their conversation and you can feel the tension. Are they about to kiss? Or maybe he puts his hand under her chin or at the nape of her neck and looks at her. You know the kiss is coming next.

She hesitatingly says, “Do you want to come up?” Or maybe he says, “Would it be presumptuous if I ask to come up?”

Standing on the doorstep, the girl says “I had a really nice time tonight.” The man kisses her before he leaves.

And whether or not you acknowledge it, these are the scripts we internalize. When it happens in real life, you recognize the step that comes next and it is up to you whether to follow the way it is supposed to happen or not. This isn’t peer pressure, this is social pressure. It is a kind of snowball effect: art imitating life and life imitating art.

Gender Scripts

Sexual scripts are usually gender based. What does a man do versus what does a woman do? During a heterosexual date, think of some gender stereotypes. The man pays. The woman orders a salad (or has a hard time ordering). The man subtly or not so subtly initiates the physical contact, the woman determines how far they go. The man decides where they’ll go, he asks in the first place. The woman waits for the call for days after, for the guy to ask her on another date.

Examples of Gender-based Scripts

Male: A man initiates sex

A man always has an orgasm

A man always wants sex and is always ready to have it

A man doesn’t express his feelings

Female: Good girls don’t masturbate

A woman shouldn’t demand an orgasm

There’s only one right way to have an orgasm and

Sex is a terrible thing, until you’re married and then you’re supposed to like it

Bisexuality/Homosexuality and Sexual Scripts

The reason I bring this all up is that these scripts are all heteronormative and it is incredibly daunting as a bisexual or homosexual person. You have almost no information or framework with which to approach dating someone of your own gender. This is partially the root of the terms butch, top, and bottom. Instead of creating their own scripts, a woman or man will assume the traditionally male or female role in the relationship. They’re either the “aggressive” one or the “passive” one.

This leads to many questions that I’ve even seen asked here: how does someone meet a girl? How do you know if she’s interested? What signals are we supposed to read? If women are socialized to wait until someone asks her out, how is a woman supposed to know how to ask another woman out?

What we need are more television shows and movies that deal with homosexuality and bisexuality. We need “gay” romantic comedies. And don’t worry, we’re getting there. But these will largely help the bi girls of tomorrow. What about those of us who have already grown up?

Contemporary Sexual Scripts

This may sound rather negative, but never fear…. There are some new sexual scripts, not as well known, that are beginning to replace those I’ve already mentioned. The great news? They are considered androgynous.

Some contemporary social scripts:

Sex is a mutual activity that is supposed to produce mutual pleasure

Each person bears the responsibility for their own and their partner’s pleasure

Each person communicates about their likes and dislikes

Either person initiates sex

It isn’t always easy, but sometimes we have to re-learn our scripts or replace them outright. Unfortunately, I think movies are lagging behind and are continuing to teach harmful, outdated, gender and hetero-biased sexual scripts because they are simple to convey and most people recognize their elements immediately. We need more androgynous and/or pro-bisexual and pro-homosexual sexual scripts in movies and TV shows that are treated as normal, not special, pathological, or boring.

So, do you have any examples of any? Or any comments? Or do you disagree with any of this?

CHAT WITH BLISS LIVE TONIGHT FROM 9 TO 11 EST!

Dearest Readers and Hotel Bliss Guests,

So many of you written to me asking when I will host a brunch in Denver, San Francisco, and so many other cities, that I decided to host a virtual brunch online.

Are you a bisexual woman with a story to share? Do you want to connect with other bi-girls around the country and in Canada? Have a question for Miss Bliss?

Tonight is your opportunity to chat live with Miss Bliss and her fabulous bi-friends.

From 9pm EST (6pm PST) to 11pm EST (8pm PST), Miss Bliss will be live in the Hotel’s Laundry Room, ready to chat with you.

HOW DO I JOIN THE WEB CHAT?

1. JOIN HOTEL BLISS - If you are not a Hotel Bliss member already, CLICK HERE and fill out a membership application. Membership is FREE for all bi and bi-friendly women.

2. ALREADY A MEMBER BUT FORGOT YOUR LOG IN USER NAME AND PASSWORD? At blisswarrior.com, click on “Forgot your room number” for password retrieval and “Forgot your username” for login retrieval and that information will be emailed to you instantaneously.

3. ONCE LOGGED IN, GO TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM. One of the wonderful aspects of the Hotel Bliss Chat Room is you can choose any name when you join the chat. So if you would like to chat “anonymously” just make up a new chat name and even though you are logged in, no one will no who you are. If you’re a fabulous extrovert, feel free to tell us all who you are!

4. HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR THE NEXT CHAT? The Hotel Bliss staff is excited to announce bi-monthly bi chats at Hotel Bliss. Do you prefer Tuesday or Wednesday nights for the chat? Need a different time? Have a suggestion for a topic? Please comment here or email me at bliss@blisswarrior.com.

I LOOK FORWARD TO CHATTING WITH YOU ALL TONIGHT!

XOXOXOOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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HELP SHARE THE BLISS!

I just created the Bliss Warrior widget that can be installed on your blog, myspace page, facebook page, and pretty much any site you may have. Thank you to the wonderful Bliss Warriors who have already added the Bliss Widget to their pages. Be Bi and proud and share the Bliss! Just click on “Get Widget” at the bottom of the widget. You can make the colors match your site and even change the size.

XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS

BISEXUAL SHORT STORY CONTEST IN OHIO

From an e-mail I was sent on yahoo’s Local Bi Leaders.

In honor of National Bisexuality Day September 23rd, The Bisexual Network of Greater Cleveland announce a Bisexual Fiction contest. The contest will officially open Tuesday September 23rd and close Tuesday December 23rd. Entrants can submit up to 3 short stories – no longer than 10,000 words each – based on a romantic/erotic relationship between 2 or 3 people. The central character MUST identify as Bisexual. No entry fee will be required. Open to all Ohio residents of any age, race, and sexual orientation. 1st place winner will receive $75, 2nd place $50, and 3rd place $25. Winners will be notified by February 2009.

Entries can be sent to:
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Center of Greater Cleveland,
c/o Bisexual Network of Greater Cleveland,
6600 Detroit Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio 44102.