Hotel Bliss Guest Blog

SHALL WE PLAY A GAME RETURNS TO HOTEL BLISS!

Darling Hotel Bliss Guests,

Each day more and more girls are discovering and checking in to Hotel Bliss. To make it easier for you to meet girls and initiate friendships, we are bringing back the fun and wonderful Slumber Party Game to the Hotel.

How does the game work?

First, to qualify for participation in the game, you must email me the answer to ONE of the following questions by next Friday, November 21st. (Please email me within the hotel by CLICKING HERE) :

1. Describe a girl you have (or had) a crush on. What did you like about her? What qualities made her so attractive to you?
2. Describe a time a girl flirted with you. How did you know she was flirting? What did you do when you realized she might like you? (If this hasn’t happened, describe a time you flirted with a girl. What happened?)
3. Describe your dream night with a girl. Does she take you out for dinner? Do you cook for her? What happens after dessert? [This is a very powerful question... The more detailed you are the more likely this night will materialize.]

Second, each Monday I will post one of the answers I received and give you links to three girls’ pages at Hotel Bliss. You must guess who wrote the answer and give me your reason why you think she is the author. When I receive a correct answer, I will post another answer to a question…

There is no officially prize to win, although the game will introduce you to many new bi friends which may lead to some fabulous flirtatious fun. So join the party! E-mail me your answer by CLICKING HERE.

XOXOXOXOX
BLISS WARRIOR

She Danced Into My Fairytale - The Conclusion of a Baby Bi-Girl’s First Time

DEAREST READERS, JUNGLE JANE RETURNS WITH THE CONCLUSION OF THE TRUE STORY OF A BABY BI-GIRL’S FIRST TIME WITH A FEMALE LOVER. IF YOU MISSED THE FIRST THREE PARTS OF THIS INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL AND EROTIC STORY, PLEASE CLICK ON ONE OF THESE LINKS TO CATCH UP: PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE. XOXOXOX BLISS WARRIOR

The ballerina and I lay entangled in the tall grass. Her orgasm still pulsating off her skin and penetrating mine. Listening to our racing hearts beat in, what felt like unison, we breathed the fresh Hawaiian breeze that rushed over our sun soaked bodies and relaxed. My wondering, ever fantasizing mind had been silenced in the zen of actualization. I had just made love to a woman for the first time and it was just how I imagined it to be. Incredible.

She kissed me. She sat up and gazed at my body. She stretched out on her side with her face at near my knees and her ass in my face. She pushed my knee to the side to explore my sex deeper with her eyes. “Yours looks just like mine,” she said in amazement.

“Can I,” she asked with bashful eyes.

“You can if you would like,” I said with my legs still open. She smiled and spread my lips apart with nervous fingers to see the pretty pink glisten in a way she had never seen before. She asked me how I like to masturbate. I described to her my love for the vibration. She oh-so-gently slid her finger up and down in my juice. I could feel her hesitation in the feather lightness of her touch. I found it sweet. I found her stretched out body beside me completely irresistable. I pulled her hip toward me so she rolled onto her stomach. She felt exposed on her stomach as I made room between her legs for my hand. Her shy giggles turned to sweet feminine moans when my finger found its way to her wettest spot and my tongue began to follow. The sounds that came out her, had me melting into her.

Meanwhile, our elder sisters were napping just a few feet away under the tree. We heard them rustle as they were waking from their naps, so I paused. She pressed her ass into the air, pushing my finger deeper inside. We heard the ladies again and we both laughed as she flipped onto her back, keeping my finger inside her. She pulled me down to her face to kiss my lips and roll around with me in the grass, laughing. Girls are good at laughing.

We smiled at each other and crawled back to the tree where we smoked a joint with our girlfriends and painted toenails. When the picnic was over, the ballerina and I hugged tightly, kissed, and walked our separate ways….back home to the men that we love.

My man could see that I was glowing when I walked through the door. He asked me in a half cocked smile from across the room, “Did you just kiss Sasha?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He smiled and walked over to me. “Did you do anything else with her?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He stood tall in front of me and grabbed me by my waist and asked, “Did you just have sex with Sasha?” I smiled and nodded my head yes. He let go of me abruptly, walked to the bed, took his clothes off and made himself comfortable. In a serious tone of voice he said, “I want you to come tell me every single detail.”

I walked slowly over to him, taking my clothes off along the way, recalling every single detail starting from the moment my lips touched her nipple. By the time I was to the part where she came in my mouth, he was bringing me to the part where I splash my bliss all over his face. “Did Sasha make you do that,” he asked with a sexy, devilish grin. I smiled and shook my head no. Tingling in my skin, I finally understood that male satisfaction when you make a woman come. It’s a powerful, penetrating feeling and I’m hooked….on giving and receiving. I climbed on top of my man and took him inside me so he could feel just how thankful I am for his understanding and good, sweet love.

The next day I saw the ballerina at the waterfalls. She gently explained in so many words that yesterday was all that we would have. She felt that she had gone outside of her relationship with her man and while the experience was something she will treasure forever, she should not do it again. She was honest with her man and he was ok with it, but she shouldn’t do it again. “We could fall in love,” she said in such an airy Aires voice. Then she snapped dropped back to earth and said, “Besides, I’m not bisexual. That’s more your thing.”

I knew that she wasn’t where I was with her understanding of herself or her relationship with her man. As much as my physical side ached to hear her say what she said; I respected her decision. She wanted to remain friends and we tried, but our physical attraction to each other made it hard to focus. We had one last dance and kiss at the end of that intense week. The next morning, she packed up and moved away. Just like that. She came and went.

I felt shitty thinking about how long it might be before I got to experience something magical like that again. Little did I know the universe was just warming me up.

XOXOXOXO
JUNGLE JANE
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY OTHER BLOGS FROM JUNGLE JANE:
CRUSHING ON THE TAKEN GIRL: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A GIRL’S FIRST VIBRATOR: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
GETTING HER NUMBER: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
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CHAT WITH BLISS WARRIOR AND FRIENDS TOMORROW NIGHT AT 6PM PST AND 9PM EST. ALL HOTEL BLISS MEMBERS ARE WELCOME TO JOIN BLISS AND HER FRIENDS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM FOR A LIVE CHAT ON WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12! NOT A MEMBER OF HOTEL BLISS YET? VISIT BLISSWARRIOR.COM AND CLICK ON JOIN!

Some advice please

So, I’m really new to this…

I think I may have developed my first crush on a girl. Of course I have found girls attractive before, but I’ve never had any “butterflies-in-my-stomach” feelings for a girl.

I started a new job not too long ago, and that’s when I started seeing her. She works nearby, so I see her almost everyday. I don’t know much about her…only her name, and that she has a nice smile and pretty voice. I don’t even know if she’s gay or bisexual. And, even if she was, I don’t know if she’s single…or if she would even be interested in me.

I guess what I would like to know is, how do I go about finding out whether or not a girl is into other girls? I don’t want to assume that just because the way someone is dressed that means they’re gay or straight. And I don’t know if there is a way to find out without just asking it.

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Brave new world

I am moving forward in a new direction.  Was there a moment when a light bulb lit above my head as a sudden realization? Was it a slow awakening, blurry eyed at first with increasing clarity?  I cannot tell you.  I just know that here I am.  Seeing with new eyes.  Feeling with new skin.  Hearing with sensitive ears.  This new world is awkward and scary, exhilarating and intense.  The old me did not feel her feelings, did not acknowledge her own dreams and wore many masks.  Being the real me.  It is harder.  It is better.  Perhaps it will get easier with practice. 

Sexual Scripts

I am a terribly infrequent blogger~

What are sexual scripts?

In cognitive psychology, a script is a framework of information in your mind for a certain person, place, thing, or situation. It represents how things are supposed to happen. They are good because they help us learn and structure our experiences. They can be negative or have negative consequences.

A script for a fast food restaurant may go like this:

1. walk in the door
2. if there’s a line, wait in line.
3. when it is your turn, order from the menu that is above the cash register.
4. pay what the cashier tells you is your total.
5. wait for them to put together your order.
6. pick it off the counter and leave through the door you came in.

A part of social censure (or comedy) is doing things that don’t fit the script. What if I threw my bag of food to the ground? What if I cut in line? People get upset when others don’t stick to the script. It’s unexpected, and sometimes that is a big part of comedy.

Now, apply this to sexual scripts. Sexual scripts are the same thing applied to sexual activity. It is also related to gender scripts. When you go to a restaurant, who pays? What makes it a date versus dinner with a friend? If a woman invites you into her apartment, what is she conveying? Maybe she wants to continue the conversation or maybe it’s a sign she wants sex. What if one person interprets it an entirely different way than you meant it? Or what if you misinterpreted their signals? Most people have experienced this at some point.

How do we learn sexual scripts?

Scripts are learned through imitation. When you think of imitation, you might be tempted to think we learn our sexual scripts from our parents or from our peers. This is a really common belief for any kind of socialization. When it comes to sexual scripts, I tend to think these two groups have less of an influence than in other areas. How often did your parents go on a date in front of you? How often did you see their foreplay and how they initiated sex? Chances are they kept it pretty hidden, or you just didn’t notice it because you were too young.

I know it’s cliche to blame the media for the oversexual nature of our culture. This isn’t about blame and it’s not about some giant media presence. It is about specifically about movies, TV shows, and books. Not advertisements, music, or clothing. The nature of scripts translates well to the idea of movie or TV scripts. Books too correspond to that sequential nature of how things are supposed to happen. That is what scripts are all about. (I personally think they are less powerful in that they are not as visual, and so do not convey a lot of non-verbal cues that go into sexual scripts.)

Children and teenagers learn about sex through movies and TV shows.

Some scenes from movies:

A woman stands in the doorway, maybe she leans against it. She is dressed in lingerie or something else appealing. The man is on the bed. Is she communicating she wants some form of sex?

A man and woman stand facing each other. They pause their conversation and you can feel the tension. Are they about to kiss? Or maybe he puts his hand under her chin or at the nape of her neck and looks at her. You know the kiss is coming next.

She hesitatingly says, “Do you want to come up?” Or maybe he says, “Would it be presumptuous if I ask to come up?”

Standing on the doorstep, the girl says “I had a really nice time tonight.” The man kisses her before he leaves.

And whether or not you acknowledge it, these are the scripts we internalize. When it happens in real life, you recognize the step that comes next and it is up to you whether to follow the way it is supposed to happen or not. This isn’t peer pressure, this is social pressure. It is a kind of snowball effect: art imitating life and life imitating art.

Gender Scripts

Sexual scripts are usually gender based. What does a man do versus what does a woman do? During a heterosexual date, think of some gender stereotypes. The man pays. The woman orders a salad (or has a hard time ordering). The man subtly or not so subtly initiates the physical contact, the woman determines how far they go. The man decides where they’ll go, he asks in the first place. The woman waits for the call for days after, for the guy to ask her on another date.

Examples of Gender-based Scripts

Male: A man initiates sex

A man always has an orgasm

A man always wants sex and is always ready to have it

A man doesn’t express his feelings

Female: Good girls don’t masturbate

A woman shouldn’t demand an orgasm

There’s only one right way to have an orgasm and

Sex is a terrible thing, until you’re married and then you’re supposed to like it

Bisexuality/Homosexuality and Sexual Scripts

The reason I bring this all up is that these scripts are all heteronormative and it is incredibly daunting as a bisexual or homosexual person. You have almost no information or framework with which to approach dating someone of your own gender. This is partially the root of the terms butch, top, and bottom. Instead of creating their own scripts, a woman or man will assume the traditionally male or female role in the relationship. They’re either the “aggressive” one or the “passive” one.

This leads to many questions that I’ve even seen asked here: how does someone meet a girl? How do you know if she’s interested? What signals are we supposed to read? If women are socialized to wait until someone asks her out, how is a woman supposed to know how to ask another woman out?

What we need are more television shows and movies that deal with homosexuality and bisexuality. We need “gay” romantic comedies. And don’t worry, we’re getting there. But these will largely help the bi girls of tomorrow. What about those of us who have already grown up?

Contemporary Sexual Scripts

This may sound rather negative, but never fear…. There are some new sexual scripts, not as well known, that are beginning to replace those I’ve already mentioned. The great news? They are considered androgynous.

Some contemporary social scripts:

Sex is a mutual activity that is supposed to produce mutual pleasure

Each person bears the responsibility for their own and their partner’s pleasure

Each person communicates about their likes and dislikes

Either person initiates sex

It isn’t always easy, but sometimes we have to re-learn our scripts or replace them outright. Unfortunately, I think movies are lagging behind and are continuing to teach harmful, outdated, gender and hetero-biased sexual scripts because they are simple to convey and most people recognize their elements immediately. We need more androgynous and/or pro-bisexual and pro-homosexual sexual scripts in movies and TV shows that are treated as normal, not special, pathological, or boring.

So, do you have any examples of any? Or any comments? Or do you disagree with any of this?

CHAT WITH BLISS LIVE TONIGHT FROM 9 TO 11 EST!

Dearest Readers and Hotel Bliss Guests,

So many of you written to me asking when I will host a brunch in Denver, San Francisco, and so many other cities, that I decided to host a virtual brunch online.

Are you a bisexual woman with a story to share? Do you want to connect with other bi-girls around the country and in Canada? Have a question for Miss Bliss?

Tonight is your opportunity to chat live with Miss Bliss and her fabulous bi-friends.

From 9pm EST (6pm PST) to 11pm EST (8pm PST), Miss Bliss will be live in the Hotel’s Laundry Room, ready to chat with you.

HOW DO I JOIN THE WEB CHAT?

1. JOIN HOTEL BLISS - If you are not a Hotel Bliss member already, CLICK HERE and fill out a membership application. Membership is FREE for all bi and bi-friendly women.

2. ALREADY A MEMBER BUT FORGOT YOUR LOG IN USER NAME AND PASSWORD? At blisswarrior.com, click on “Forgot your room number” for password retrieval and “Forgot your username” for login retrieval and that information will be emailed to you instantaneously.

3. ONCE LOGGED IN, GO TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM. One of the wonderful aspects of the Hotel Bliss Chat Room is you can choose any name when you join the chat. So if you would like to chat “anonymously” just make up a new chat name and even though you are logged in, no one will no who you are. If you’re a fabulous extrovert, feel free to tell us all who you are!

4. HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR THE NEXT CHAT? The Hotel Bliss staff is excited to announce bi-monthly bi chats at Hotel Bliss. Do you prefer Tuesday or Wednesday nights for the chat? Need a different time? Have a suggestion for a topic? Please comment here or email me at bliss@blisswarrior.com.

I LOOK FORWARD TO CHATTING WITH YOU ALL TONIGHT!

XOXOXOOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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HELP SHARE THE BLISS!

I just created the Bliss Warrior widget that can be installed on your blog, myspace page, facebook page, and pretty much any site you may have. Thank you to the wonderful Bliss Warriors who have already added the Bliss Widget to their pages. Be Bi and proud and share the Bliss! Just click on “Get Widget” at the bottom of the widget. You can make the colors match your site and even change the size.

XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS

BISEXUAL SHORT STORY CONTEST IN OHIO

From an e-mail I was sent on yahoo’s Local Bi Leaders.

In honor of National Bisexuality Day September 23rd, The Bisexual Network of Greater Cleveland announce a Bisexual Fiction contest. The contest will officially open Tuesday September 23rd and close Tuesday December 23rd. Entrants can submit up to 3 short stories – no longer than 10,000 words each – based on a romantic/erotic relationship between 2 or 3 people. The central character MUST identify as Bisexual. No entry fee will be required. Open to all Ohio residents of any age, race, and sexual orientation. 1st place winner will receive $75, 2nd place $50, and 3rd place $25. Winners will be notified by February 2009.

Entries can be sent to:
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Center of Greater Cleveland,
c/o Bisexual Network of Greater Cleveland,
6600 Detroit Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio 44102.

Get out and meet a Bi girl

Hi,

Just thought I’d post a blog letting everyone in on a cool secret you might not know about.
There is an awesome site www.meetup.com where people get together in your area for all kinds of things from book clubs to fans of 80’s music to lesbian’s with dogs group.
And it’s free.

I belong to an awesome group in my area, Dual Attractions: Bi ladies of the Triangle (NC) and we meet frequently for drinks, movies, dinner, Kareoke, etc…
It’s a great way to meet people in your area. If there isn’t a Bi ladies meetup group in your area, start one! It’s the best way to make a ton of friends who share the same interests.
Our group just celebrated it’s 6 month anniversary and there is something like 60 members now?

How cool is that?!
Shout out to Travel Girl, our fearless Dual Attractions leader & Bliss Hotel member. You rock!

So check it out! Go out and meet some bi friends!

Re: New to Bliss

and just wanted to say hello to everyone.  

I am so happy for Blisswarrior and to see this group is out here.  Hope to get to know some of you as well as blog some of my personal experiences.

All the best,

Tinuviel

The Impossible Crush

(I posted some of this as a bulletin but I’ve modified it and am posting it here because I think it’s more appropriately posted as a blog…)

Most of us have been there before: The Impossible Crush. 

I define this as having an intense desire for somebody that we simply cannot be with.  For whatever reason (and the reasons vary tremendously!) you know that anything more than friendship with her (or him) will never be.  The feelings that come along with the crush are thrilling and terrifying… and unbearably frustrating at times, too:

Your heart pounds hard and fast when you think of her/him or see her/him.

You feel tongue-tied when you’re with her/him (even though you are oh-so-clever and smooth in the imaginary encounter you have with your crush).

You generally have a one-track mind focused on anything about the object of your crush… you become distracted by thoughts of our crush at the most inconvenient times (Nothing like being unable to take your mind or eyes off of her/his sexy tanned, toned arms or gorgeous eyes or smile during a meeting/conversation that you should really be paying more attention to.  “I’m sorry, I missed what you just said there. I was too busy fantasizing/daydreaming/checking out your…”).

Perhaps your stomach even does flip-flops when you are around her/him.  Whenever this happens, I am reminded of the fact that some of the ancients did not consider the Heart to be the vessel of one’s emotions:  In fact, Hebrew literature uses imagery of the guts or bowels as the seat of our emotions.  When negative (or very powerfully positive!!) emotions bring you butterflies in your stomach, you begin to appreciate the apparent wisdom of our ancestors…

Now, some of us have been lucky enough to have a friend or two to confide in about the crush.  Others of us have had (at least at some points) to keep tight-lipped. Once again, just as the reasons why one cannot pursue or be with one’s crush vary tremendously, so do the reasons why one might not be able to confide in anyone about the crush.  The one reason that comes to mind most quickly is that if the crush is another female then one must have bi-friendly friends that they are comfortable talking to about such matters.  Another reason is that perhaps the crush object is a colleague or supervisor- and it’s just too risky to mention the crush to anyone in case word leaks out about it and puts your career in jeopardy.  Or perhaps we stay tight-lipped because we know that nothing will ever come of the Impossible Crush, so we don’t want to bother dragging anyone else into our frustrated little mindspace.

What is it about your crush that drives you so wild?  How does she/he make you feel about yourself?  How have you dealt with your Impossible Crushes?  Who have you confided in? 

What has helped get you past the heart-pounding, stomach-flipping stage to a point where you can just release the crush/desire and surrender to enjoying whatever presence they have in your life “as is”, not as you might otherwise want?  Have you ever actually pursued an Impossible Crush - if so, how did that turn out?